#yeah dan you got a trainer for that. instead of learning it yourself. like what
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ooo it wasn't dan who broke phil's rib!
#tbh i feel like either they wouldve told us if it was. and i think we'd be able to Tell by dans vibe#though. did he need to say 'well now theyre gonna think its some complicated sex act' ? no. he didnt.#yeah dan you got a trainer for that. instead of learning it yourself. like what#dnp#dnptit#dan and phil#c.text#phan
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Switch
by Dirk Steel ([email protected])
I was working out at the gym like I did every Thursday night. But this night seemed a bit odd. Barely anyone else was here. Mr. Asito, the night janitor was doing his usual duties. Kathy, the desk clerk, was signing out and heading for home. Dan, Phil and Ted were talking about getting some action at the local bar as they went out the door.Of course Doug and Matt were still here. Being the personal trainers for the gym, they were always working out. Doug was an incredible specimen. He looked a lot like Marcus Reinhardt, the professional bodybuilder, but even taller. At six-foot-two he was a sight to behold. Blond hair, blue eyes, broad shoulders, thick square chest, narrow waist, huge quads and calves. He looked just like a Nordic god. Matt, on the other hand, looked like the all-American football jock. Five-foot-ten, 220 lbs. of pure muscle. Wavy black hair, jet black eyes, bushy eyebrows, Roman nose, square jaw and high cheek bones, a chiseled six-pack, beefy forearms and 19-inch biceps. His shoulders were so well defined; he looked like he was wearing shoulder pads.It took all of my strength not to stare at Matt while I worked out. In my mind he was the "perfect" man. He just oozed masculinity. His voice was at least an octave lower than mine. Unfortunately, he made it perfectly clear to everyone that he was all man, and 100% straight. I had even hired him to help me train a few months ago, but he seemed to sense that I had more in mind than just training, and asked Doug to help me instead.Doug was a different story.Â
Quiet and sensitive, I had a feeling there was more there than met the eye. There were rumors around the gym that Doug had a thing for Matt, but no one ever had enough nerve to ask Doug if it were true. Matt was always trying to set up Doug with a variety of women. But Doug never seemed to take an interest. A couple of times while changing clothes, I noticed Doug looking over Matt's body a little longer than a straight guy would. My "gaydar" was definitely going off.Doug called over to me and asked if I needed any help. I said "Sure, thanks". Matt rolled his eyes and went off to run on the treadmill. "Looks like you've been putting on some muscle, David.", Doug said. I smiled knowing that my gains had been minimal at best and that Doug was just being kind. "Yeah, I think you'll be ready for competition in no time." Now I started laughing. "Sure, I'm a 6-foot-one, 170 lb. walking Greek statue". I said with a smirk. "Don't be so hard on yourself...", Doug said, "we all can't look like Matt". "If only that were possible.", I said. "Well if it were possible, I'd have a lot better luck with Matt than I'm having now." I'm sure I must have had a shocked look on my face when I looked over at Doug. I couldn't believe he was being so open and honest. "Listen David, I know you're gay. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. I just thought it would be nice to have a gay friend I could confide in. I always have to pretend to be the straight jock when I'm working out with Matt."Â
I didn't know what to say except, "Thanks." Doug continued, "I know you've got a thing for bodybuilders. I've noticed you checking Matt and me out on a number of occasions. I've always been flattered by it. I had wished that I felt the same way about you, but I have the same desire for bodybuilders that you have. I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from." "I do, Doug. I could tell just by the way you look at Matt." "Matt? That's a whole other story there. I don't know what's going on with Matt. Ya know, I'm going to take a walk around the block. I've got a lot of things to think about. If you see Matt tell him I should be back in about 20 minutes. Thanks, David. You're a real friend". Doug kissed me on the cheek and left for his walk. I felt a real attraction to Doug, but knew that nothing could ever happen between us.While I was working out on the ab crunch machine, I was watching Mr. Asito vacuuming around the various pieces of equipment. He had a big smile on his face. I wondered why he seemed so happy doing such a menial chore. Just then he turned to me and said "A job well done is a job worth doing. It gives one a feeling of pride." It was almost as if he were answering the question I was thinking about. Then I remembered hearing stories about how Mr. Asito was into mystical things like potions, spells and even magic idols. I figured it was just a joke based on Mr. Asito's age and Asian background. "It is no joke, David.", he said. "How did you..." I started to ask, but he interrupted, "There are unexplainable forces that man cannot fathom, but can be used if one learns the old teachings." I smiled back and humored him by saying "I'm sure there are." He knew I really wasn't taking him seriously, smiled, and went back to vacuuming.Â
I went back to doing my crunches, understanding how all of those stories about him got started. Suddenly I heard a loud clanking sound behind me. Mr. Asito had accidentally hooked the vacuum cord around the weight tower and now it was beginning to rock back and forth. I jumped up from the ab machine and ran toward the weight tower hoping I could stop the rocking. But it was too late. The tower started falling towards him. I pushed him out of the way just as the weights fell to the ground with a loud crash."Are you ok?" "I'm fine, David. No harm done.", he said as he slowly got up off the floor. "You scared me half to death. It looked like you were right in the path of those weights." "Thank goodness you were nearby. The outcome could have been different." "I'm just glad you didn't get hurt." "Now, maybe there is something I can do for you?" With that he put his fingers from both hands around my face. I started to move backwards but felt compelled to stand still. He looked deeply in my eyes, as if he were looking right through me. I felt a chill run up my spine. "You have desires that are beyond the reality of this world.", he spoke in a trance-like state. "The one you wish to be, also wishes the same of you. Sometimes those who live their lives a certain way really long to be free of playing the role they feel they were forced to portray." His hands dropped from my face and the trance was broken. "Sometimes the impossible is possible... as you will see." Mr. Asito winked at me, turned and left the room.I stood there wondering what had just happened. It all seemed like some sort of weird dream. "You have desires that are beyond the reality of this world." How did he know about my desires? I've never shared my desires with anyone. I decided that Mr. Asito was just a kooky old man that liked putting on a show. That was a lot easier than believing all of that crazy mumbo-jumbo.I went back to my workout as if nothing had happened, all the while feeling that something strange had just taken place. After finishing my circuit training, I heading for the locker rooms. Matt walked in just as got to my locker. "What was that loud bang I heard?" "The weight tower almost crushed Mr. Asito.", I replied. "What were you doing messing with weights that heavy? You've got to be in shape to handle that kind of weight.", Matt said snidely. "I'll keep that in mind, thanks." "I didn't think guys like you were interested in getting big like me." "More than you think, Matt." Matt flexed his right arm into a bicep pose. He rubbed the peak of the bicep with his left hand, caressing it as though he was getting turned on by his own fondling. He knew how much I was enjoying the performance. I tried to act like I wasn't impressed, concentrating on the task at hand... not getting an erection. It wasn't working. I could feel my dick swelling in my pants.Â
Matt saw what was happening. "What's going on down there? I think your dick is confused. It must think I'm one of those Baywatch babes. You might want to have a talk with it -- God, I don't even know why they let queers like you workout here! Shouldn't you be at some sort of bathhouse, sucking some guy's cock?", he sneered then turned away. "Ya know Matt, contrary to what most people think, most gay people don't go to bathhouses." "Whatever.", he said coldly.Matt opened up his locker. "What the hell is this?" He reached into his locker and pulled out a black ring. "What's this doing in here?" He looked over at me. "Is this from you?!" "No, Matt. Of course it's not from me." "I wonder who put this in my locker?" He looked at it closely. It appeared to be made of black onyx. It was square on top, with a recessed square in the middle. It had some foreign writing around each side. "Weird", is all Matt could muster. He decided to slip the ring on his index finger. "It fits like a glove, and looks pretty cool. I'll have to find out if Kathy bought it for me." "Kathy the desk clerk?" "Yeah, Kathy the desk clerk! Who did you think I meant?" "Nobody." I knew that Kathy wouldn't have given Matt the time of day, let alone an onyx ring. She had told me on a number of occasions how put off she was by Matt's egotistical personality. In fact, I couldn't think of any woman at the gym that seemed to like Matt.I took off my t-shirt and opened my locker. There sitting front and center was a black onyx ring, just like Matt's. I picked it up and examined it. It had the same kind of writing, but instead of a recessed square, the square was sticking out of the larger square base by about a quarter-of-an-inch. "Look what I found?", I said as I slipped it on my finger. "What the fuck?! Where did you get that?" "Same place as you. In my locker -- I guess that rules out Kathy." "Are you sure you didn't buy these as engagement rings, hoping I might come around?", Matt smiled smugly. "I don't think so, Matt."He walked over to compare the two rings. They looked identical except for the tops. "This is so strange", Matt said, "they look like the same ring. It almost looks like your ring will plug into mine." Matt was right, it looked like the post on the top of my ring would fit into the hole in Matt's ring.Â
Curious, Matt reached over and snapped his ring into mine.Both rings started to glow. Matt pulled away, but the rings wouldn't come apart. The lights in the locker room started to dim. Then a cold breeze began to swirl around us. We both stared at each other with frightened looks on our faces. The rings glowed brighter and brighter. The glow started moving up our arms. A sudden jolt of electricity went through our bodies. Both Matt and I went rigid from the wave of energy passing through us. I felt like I was burning up. I could see that Matt was experiencing the same thing. Then, suddenly, the rings separated from each other. We were both beginning to sweat. Matt looked relieved and started to back up, but realized that he couldn't move his legs. I tried to lift my legs and was also unable to move from my spot. The rings started glowing brightly again and Matt doubled-over in pain. I tried to reach for Matt when I felt an extreme cramping of my stomach muscles. I grabbed my stomach, and clinched my teeth from the intense pain. I could feel something happening under my hands as a held my stomach. The muscles felt like they were getting tighter and tighter. The layer of fat that was there burned away, and muscles started forming right underneath my skin. I could actually feel a washboard stomach growing right under my hands. My abs were now hard as a rock. Finally the pain subsided. I stood up straight and immediately noticed Matt. His stomach had lost most of its definition. It was almost smooth... just like my stomach used to be. Then I looked in the mirror, just to the right of Matt, and noticed how developed my abs had become. It looked like I had been doing sit-ups for years. I reached down and slowly ran my hands across my stomach and felt every ridge and crevice. It seemed like I was having some sort of out-of-body experience.The rings started to glow again, and soon our entire bodies were glowing with energy. Matt had a strange look on his face.Â
Then I noticed what was happening to him. He was starting to change. His chest was slowly caving in. It was losing its thickness. His arms were getting smaller. His lats were narrowing. His thighs were becoming less defined. His calves were shrinking. His tight waist was starting to widen and his shoulders were slowly deflating before my eyes."David, what's happening to me?!", Matt yelled in a voice that didn't sound as deep as usual. "I'm not sure, but I think I have an idea!" I saw Matt getting thinner and taller. Then I realized that not only was Matt growing, but I was starting to shrink. I felt a sudden rush of energy fill my chest. My chest was getting heavier. I could feel it becoming engorged with blood. I looked down and saw it expanding, getting wider and deeper. My nipples were growing, moving out and down to the sides. I could see muscle fibers appearing under my skin. I moved my hands over my chest and felt how thick and hard it was becoming. I touched my larger nipples and a shudder went through me, down to my crotch. Then my arms started to get heavy and they dropped to my sides. My biceps started swelling up, as if something was filling them with blood and muscle from the inside. I could feel my triceps growing, getting heavier. My forearms were becoming thicker and wider. My right arm involuntarily swung up into a bicep curl. It felt like I had a hard baseball buried under my skin. Thick veins started snaking down my biceps. More veins appeared down the inside of my forearms.Â
My hands were becoming thicker, longer, more rugged looking. Fine black hair was forming on my forearms and legs. Then my arms started moving out from my sides. My lats were growing. They were filling in, getting thicker and wider. My legs started to cramp up on me. I grabbed my calves and felt them growing under my hands. In a matter of seconds they had grown to over twice their original size. My quads and hamstrings were tightening, becoming thicker and more defined. Striations appeared when I flexed my thigh. I could see all of the muscle groups separating. My glutes started burning. I reached behind me and felt that they were getting smaller, tighter and more round... it was very erotic, feeling my own sexy bubble butt forming under my hands.I looked over at Matt.
He didn't look like Matt anymore. He had lost a lot of muscle mass. He was taller and thinner. His face was less angular. His square jaw was rounder. His jet black eyes looked dark brown. He looked a lot like... me. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw that we looked almost like identical twins. We were both very well built, ruggedly handsome looking men. Just then a funny thought had crossed my mind. I imagined that if it were possible for Matt and I to conceive a child, he would have grown up to look exactly like we did at that moment. But then ten or fifteen seconds had passed and I actually started to look more like Matt than he did. Matt realized what was happening.Â
"You're becoming me! Why is this happening?!" "I don't know Matt...", I said in a voice that sounded more like his than mine, "just hold on if you can, I think it's almost over." Matt tried to pull his ring off, but it wouldn't budge. Matt continued to grow thinner and taller. His face was slowly changing into mine. His eyes changed into a lighter brown. His hair went from dark brown to sandy blonde, curly to straight. His high cheekbones moved down his face, and became less angular. I saw the anchor tattoo on his right shoulder slowly fade away then reappear on my shoulder. Then I saw my old appendix scar gradually appeared on his body. I glanced down at my stomach and saw that it was gone.I continued to get bigger and more muscular. I felt my rib cage growing and stretching, making more room for my expanding chest. I could hear my bones shifting, cracking, repositioning themselves.Â
With every breath I took, I could feel my frame growing wider and thicker. I looked in the mirror and saw my lats expanding, pushing my arms further out to the sides. I watched as my shoulders inflated. I could feel the muscle fibers forming under my skin. They began to look like melons attached to my thick, massive arms. My waist continued to tighten. I looked down and saw my abs were even more defined than before. My legs were becoming so muscular they started to rip my cut-offs at the seams. I could feel my face contorting, my features changing. My teeth were moving in my mouth, shifting position. They were being remade, becoming straighter, more aligned. My jaw was getting wider, more square. As I looked in the mirror, a cleft slowly appeared in my chin. My nose was narrowing. My eyes were getting darker. My eyebrows had become thick and black. My brow was thickening and protruding over my eyes, giving me a masculine "neanderthal" look. My skin tone was darkening. I couldn't believe what I saw when I looked in the mirror. My face now looked like a G.Q. model... it looked just like Matt.Â
In just a matter of minutes I had become the man I had always fantasized about. I smiled and saw Matt's perfect pearly white teeth smiling back at me in the mirror. I caressed my face with my lumberjack-sized hands. I felt my high cheekbones, my Roman nose, my sexy 5-o'clock shadow. My dick was stirring in my shorts. I looked over at my big, round shoulder and saw Matt's anchor tattoo. I slowly rubbed it with my hand and felt the thick, hard muscles underneath it. Normally, I didn't care for tattoos, but on his well-defined arm it looked really sexy and masculine.The ring's glow and the cold breeze slowly faded away. Matt and I just stood there for a couple of minutes staring at each other. Both of us were drenched in sweat. Matt was standing 3 feet from me in my body. It looked so strange seeing my slender body in his clothes.Â
His big muscle tank top was draped over my tall, narrow frame. Then I saw my reflection in the mirror. It was so incredible I couldn't stop staring at myself. I was looking at myself through Matt's dark, sexy eyes. When I blinked, Matt's reflection blinked. When I raised my thick black eyebrows, my reflection did the same. When I smiled, I saw Matt's gorgeous smile looking back at me. I still felt like this was some sort of incredible dream. Finally, I took my gaze away from the mirror and slowly looked down at my new body. It was the body of a Greek god. But instead being carved out of white marble, it was made of muscle and bone. Every body part in perfect proportion, all covered in a paper-thin layer of bronzed colored skin. My tanned, chiseled chest was sticking out from me like a slab of granite, moving in and out with every deep breath I took. My ripped abs were carved into my lean torso. I put my hands behind my head; then I blew as much air out as possible while tightening my stomach. I saw my abs form a perfect chiseled 6-pack that any man would have been envious of. I looked past my ripped abs, and saw that my quads had become as thick as tree trunks, each muscle group was clearly defined and separated.Â
My skin looked like it had been painted on. There wasn't an ounce of fat anywhere on my body. My calves had grown to three times their previous size. I flexed my right calve and saw it separate into two distinct muscle groups. Each a perfectly formed diamond shape. I looked back up at the mirror and swung my right arm into a bicep curl and felt it with my other hand. I could feel the pumping blood coursing through my veins, filling the 19-inches of muscle. My bicep felt as hard as steel. It was surreal. I bounced my pecs up and down, feeling the weight of my newly formed chest. I did a lat spread for the first time. I could feel the thick muscles stretching out from my torso, my arms moving away from my sides, my shoulders rising in the air. These were things only a bodybuilder could do. Only then did I realize that I now possessed the body of an incredible athlete. As much as I disliked Matt, I had to give him credit for sculpting his body into such an amazing piece of art. I did a double-bicep pose and let out a loud, deep yell. "I can't believe this is happening to me!!!" Matt jumped back, intimidated at the sight of my new found strength. "Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you, Matt." "Thanks David, considering that's my body you've got there, I would appreciate that." "Since I do have your body, I might as well have your clothes too." With that, I pulled the muscle tank top off of Matt and slipped it on my chiseled form. Matt was shocked that I would be so forward. I slipped on the tank top over my sweaty body. It fit like a second skin. It clung to each section of my 6-pack, my thick chest, and my v-shaped torso. I walked over to Matt's locker and pulled out a pair of Speedo posing trunks. "I don't think you'll be needing these for a while, so I thought I might borrow a pair." Normally, Matt would have beat the crap out of anyone taking stuff out of his locker, but he knew he was in no position to argue with me. I quickly slipped off my tattered shorts and briefs.Â
Matt noticed my hard-on, and was embarrassed to find himself getting aroused. I looked over and saw him trying to hide his erection. "Gee, you might want to go find one of those bath houses I've heard so much about." Matt's looked embarrassed, and his face turned bright red. I slid the Speedos over my muscular legs, slowing moving them over my throbbing hard-on. They were small and tight, conforming to every curve of my "package". They definitely didn't leave anything to the imagination. I could clearly see the head of my penis through the stretched, elastic material. My tight balls hanging underneath, each clearly defined. I walked over to the mirror, and was in awe. I had always fantasized about being a bodybuider, wearing a pair of sexy Speedos, and putting on a show in front of a mirror. The thought that this had become a reality was an incredible turn on. I was on the verge of cumming."Matt, your body is so amazing, I can't believe what kind of shape it's in!" "Thanks... I worked a long time to get it in shape, so what ever you do, don't damage it." "Well Matt, the body you're inhabiting isn't exactly chopped liver. For starters, you're over 3-inches taller than you were before, you're in pretty good shape, and now you are the owner of a very large piece of meat." Matt unzipped his shorts to find a soft 9-inch dick. "Whoa! You're fuckin' huge." "Thanks, Matt. I thought you might find it enjoyable." "My dick is only about 5-inches... sorry about that.", Matt said. "No problem. Size has never been that important to me." "Really. Well, if you had a small dick like mine, it would be. I've always wanted to have a huge piece of meat like this to play with." Matt smiled and started jerking himself off.Â
While he was enjoying his new best friend, I started posing in front of the mirror, just like I had seen hundreds of times in all of those bodybuilder videos that I owned. I did a side chest, then an ab crunch, single bicep, double bicep, then a most muscular pose. Feeling the blood coursing through my pumped up arms, chest and legs was an incredible rush. My 5-inch dick was now hard as a rock, pulsing with the rapid beat of my heart. I took off my Speedo and grabbed my pre-cum soaked rod and started pumping. A few minutes later we both came, and shot our loads across the locker room floor. We had just wiped ourselves off with a couple of towels, when Mr. Asito walked in."So David, still don't believe in those unexplainable forces?" He was staring at me in Matt's body. "I do now, Mr. Asito." I showed him a double bicep pose. He smiled. "You did this to me?!", Matt chimed in. "You did it to yourself, Matt.", Mr. Asito answered back. "What are you talking about, it was the rings you gave us that did this to us." "That's only partially true. The rings allow the transference to take place, but they will only work if both parties wish for it to happen." "You mean I wanted to change bodies with David?" "In a matter of speaking, yes." "Why would I want to change places with that gay guy?" "Why indeed?" Mr. Asito started to leave the room. "You can't just leave me like this! Come back here!"Â
Mr. Asito turned around, "Matt, no matter what happens, you and David will always be connected by the rings. David wears the dominant ring, which controls the passive ring, which you wear. This will make you a willing participant to any future transference he desires. You will have no say in the matter. But right now you have a much more important task you must reach deep within your soul and find the truth with which you are afraid to face. Until this happens, you will not be the man you long to be." "What do you mean, the truth with which I'm afraid to face? I'm not afraid of anything. I don't understand." "You will Matt." Mr. Asito left the room."I don't believe this is happening" "I know Matt this is pretty unreal. Let's just try to make the best of this. Let's get dressed and figure out what we're going to do." "The best of this?! My muscles are hijacked without my permission, and now I'm stuck in this body until I face some sort of truth within my soul. No, let's not make the best of this!" I felt a sudden surge of anger flow through me.Â
I grabbed Matt under his arms, lifted him up and slammed him up against the lockers. "You ARE going to make the best of this, understand!", I roared at him in his deep voice. I could see the fear in Matt's eyes. Then I remembered that Matt was in my body, and that I had Matt's powerful muscles that could do real damage. I slowly put Matt back down on the floor. Matt moved back a couple of feet, afraid of what I might do next. "I'm sorry Matt, I don't know what came over me. I've never felt like that before. It was strange, the feeling of power that went through me. Are you ok?" "Yes, I'm fine. We wouldn't want to damage these goods, would we David." "No we wouldn't, Matt." We both smiled and got dressed.Doug walked in right after we closed our lockers. "Hey Matt, did David tell you I went for a walk?" Matt, in my body, was about to answer, but I cut him off, "Yes, he told me. No problem Doug." "What have you guys been up to?" "More than you can imagine. I feel like I've made quite a few gains.", I answered. "In 20 minutes? What kind of gains could you have possibly made in 20 minutes?" "A lot more than I expected." I smiled at Doug.Â
He was taken aback. I think he saw something in my smile that Matt had never shown him. Matt looked over at me with a smirk, wondering what was going on. "Doug... David and I were going to go back to his place to talk about some methods of putting on muscle mass. Do you mind if we get together later tonight?" Concerned, Doug said "Matt, you're not going to do anything bad to David are you?" "No, trust me, I'm not going to hurt David in any way. Isn't that right David?" "Yeah, don't worry Doug, Matt's not going to hurt this body. Besides, I'm really interested in learning how to gain muscle mass fast." "Ok, as long as nothing bad happens to David, then it's cool." "So, I'll give you a call in a couple of hours Doug" I said with the biggest, sexiest smile I could muster. Doug looked pleasantly surprised and smiled back. Matt and I headed out the door. Matt was wondering what I was up to. He was suspicious that I would actually give him back his body, and that would be the end of it. He was right, of course. I had other more interesting plans in mind.
Switch - Part 2
 I took Matt's keys out of his pocket and headed for his Corvette. Matt protested, "Hey, you're not going to drive my Corvette are you?" "While I've got this body, I guess this is my car, right?" "Fine, drive my car." "Besides, I thought we'd go back to my place and switch bodies back. Unless there's something else you'd rather do?" "No. Let's get rolling!" Matt hopped in the passenger's seat and closed the door. As we were heading for my apartment I could tell that Matt was really anxious to get there. "Matt, having my body hasn't been THAT terrible an experience has it?" "Well, to be honest, I have enjoyed being taller and having your huge dick, and actually you're not in that bad of shape."Â
"That's what I thought. Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to be someone else?" "Sure. I guess so.", Matt pondered, "Sometimes I wish I didn't have to act like the 'tough jock' all of the time." "Isn't it tiring putting on a front like that?" "Yeah. I get sick of it. I'm so busy living up to that image, I don't even know who I am anymore." "I think that's what Mr. Asito was talking about." Matt sat there quietly, thinking about what we had talked about. I could tell he was having a hard time dealing with his bottled up feeling. Finally we arrived at my apartment.After we stepped inside, I locked the door. "So David, are you really going to give me back my body?" "Yes, Matt. I plan to give you back your body." "Plan to? What do you mean 'Plan to'?" "Well, I do have a few conditions." "What kind of conditions, I'm afraid to ask."Â
"I'm going to have access to your body whenever want. If I feel like having a workout in your body, we'll switch. If I feel like taking a shower in your skin, we'll switch. If I want to show off your body at the beach, we'll switch." "You can't be serious?" "I'm totally serious, Matt. But, if you'd rather I keep this hot bod permanently, no problem." "No, it's just that... you mean whenever you want to borrow my body, I have to let you?" "That about sums it up. If you want to have your body back you'll have to be available to swap whenever I want." Matt knew he didn't have any other options but to say yes. "Sure David, whatever you say." "I think you made the right decision Matt. But before we make the switch, I thought we could have some fun first." "What kind of fun?" "First I want you to put on the smallest clothes I've got in my dresser. Then were going to get my weight set and a bottle of baby oil and bring them back into the living room." "What are we going to do with weights and baby oil?" "Well Matt, I figured that you'd be so grateful to get back in your body that you wouldn't mind putting on a very special Chippendales show for me." Matt thought about it and figured if it meant getting his body back he'd do anything. "Yeah. Sure. I'll be glad to put on a show for you." I was surprised that he agreed so quickly, but I figured all he cared about was getting back his body. I told him where the baby oil was, and I went to my bedroom and picked up my 50 lb. weights, which now felt like they weighed about 10 lbs. and brought them into the living room.Matt walked in with the baby oil.Â
He was wearing one of my old Apple t-shirts that was about two sizes too small. He had also put on my skin-tight aqua swim trunks. I was busy pumping up my biceps with my dumbbells. "You're looking good Matt. It looks like you're about to burst out of those clothes." I smiled at him. "Really cute, David. Can we just get this over with?" I began to rub baby oil on my arms and chest. "I thought I'd give myself one final thrill. This feels so good. I don't know how you were able to control yourself with this body. I've got a permanent hard on." I could see that my oil rub down was turning him on. He was trying to hide his erection with his hands. "Matt, what's going on? I thought you didn't get off on guys?" "I don't! It must be this fag body I'm stuck in! It's giving me gay thoughts." "Wait a minute, Matt. If that were true, I would suddenly have the hots for Pamela Lee Anderson. That hasn't happened." Matt was really getting flustered. "I don't know what's going on. Your 9-inch dick has got a mind of it own, ok!" "Alright Matt, if you don't want to deal with your feelings right now, we don't have to. Come on, let's get us back in our own bodies." Matt was almost in tears, "Thank you, David."We moved into the center of the room. We both tried to prepare ourselves for the electric shock from the rings. We both took a deep breath and snapped the rings together. Nothing happened. We pulled the rings apart and snapped them together again. Still, nothing. "What's wrong? Why isn't it working?", Matt said. "I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with what Mr. Asito had said." Matt was confused, "What are you talking about?" "Mr. Asito said that I have the dominant ring, and that I have the power to switch bodies whenever I want to."Â
"So, don't you want to switch bodies?" "Sure I do. But maybe I have to do more than just put the rings together. Maybe I have to concentrate on wanting the transference to take place?" "Well, it's worth a try." Matt and I put the rings together and I focused all of my thoughts on switching bodies with him. Suddenly the rings began to glow. A cool breeze swirled around us. Our bodies became engulfed in a glowing energy. It wasn't as intense as it was the first time. It was if our bodies were getting use to the transformation. I felt like I was getting weaker, less heavy. I looked over at Matt and saw him starting to change. I could see his chest starting to expand under his t-shirt. His arms and legs were getting thicker, more muscular. I watched as his waist became narrower. I could see his ripped abs forming underneath the t-shirt. I could feel myself beginning to deflate. I looked down and saw my massive chest moving up my torso, losing its thickness. My legs were becoming less defined. My 19-inch biceps were shrinking before my eyes. I looked over at Matt and saw he had a huge erection in his shorts, and a big smile on his face.Â
Matt's arms were swelling; straining on the skin-tight t-shirt I made him wear. I could see his rib cage expanding, his thickening chest straining against the fabric. It looked like something out of an Incredible Hulk episode. It was very erotic. I slid my Speedo down my legs and grabbed my throbbing dick. I could feel it growing longer and thicker in my hand. I began to grow taller and thinner. Matt was moaning from the pressure building inside his tight clothes. His sleeves started coming apart at the seams. His biceps poured out of the shredded sleeves. His collar was stretching to the breaking point. It ripped straight down the middle, quickly moving down his expanding chest. His shorts burst apart, exposing his enormous thighs. Matt face was changing from my face back to his. His features were becoming more masculine, more angular. I could feel my face changing back into its original form. A couple of minutes later our transformation had ended. The energy glow around our bodies disappeared and the cool breeze gradually died down. We both stood facing each other, drenched in sweat. Matt looked like a Greek statue draped in tattered rags. I couldn't contain myself anymore. I climaxed and shot my wad across the room. I could see that Matt had also cum in his shorts. It felt really strange being back in my body. I was 50 pounds lighter. I felt a lot weaker, like I was more vulnerable not having Matt's muscles.Matt pulled off his shredded t-shirt and swung his arms up into a double bicep pose. "Yes! I'm me again! Fantastic!" He just oozed masculinity and power, even more than I did when I possessed his body. Standing there in his tattered shorts, in that muscular pose, he looked like a comic book superhero. I turned around to grab the bottle of baby oil. "What do you think your doing, David!", Matt bellowed.Â
"Remember our deal? The Chippendales show?" "There isn't going to be any Chippendales show." "What are you talking about, Matt?" "It's over. You aren't going to be borrowing my body for taking showers, for working out or anything else for that matter." "What do you mean by that?" "Here's exactly what I mean!" Matt suddenly punched me in the stomach. I had the wind knocked out of me, and collapsed to the floor writhing in pain. I was on my knees, holding my stomach, trying to catch my breath. Matt grabbed me by the hair and jerked my head up to face him. "I'm going to make sure you never get close enough to me to put these rings together." He picked me up and slammed me against the wall. He had me pinned with his left arm, two feet off the floor. "If you think I'm going to willingly trade bodies with you so I'll have to go around as a scrawny little gay guy, you've got another thing coming. Now that I've got my body back I'm not going to give it up!" I had never seen Matt so angry. His jet black eyes looked cold and distant. I wasn't sure what he was capable of doing to me. I knew that if I didn't want to get really hurt by him, I would have to try to switch bodies again. If I tried and failed, I knew Matt would beat the crap out of me.Â
I wasn't sure if the transference could work without connecting the rings first. But I figured I had better take a chance, not knowing what Matt was going to do to me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my ring and Matt's body. Matt looked at me and wondered why I had my eyes closed. "What the hell are you doing?! Are you afraid I'm going to hurt you?" I opened my eyes, but didn't answer. I kept focusing on my ring. "...well, you'd be right. I am going to hurt you. Just enough to teach you a lesson, so you'll stay away from me and this ring." Matt pulled back his fist and was about to hit me in the face. All of a sudden Matt froze in his place. He had a confused look on his face. He didn't know why he had stopped in his tracks. Slowly, Matt let me slide back down to the floor. He almost looked like he was in a trance. I looked down and saw my ring was glowing. Matt noticed I was looking down at my hand. "Oh no, the ring! It can't be!" "It looks like I won't be getting that broken nose after all." Matt was staring at the ring with a worried look on his face. "We'll see about that."Â
Matt was fighting against the force emanating from the ring. He was trying with all his might to break the hold the ring had over him. "You're not going to do this to me again!", he moaned. I stared at my ring and spoke aloud, "I want to switch bodies with Matt." The ring began to glow even brighter. Matt screamed in pain, "Noooo!" His ring began to glow too. "Matt, stop fighting the ring, it's hurting you!", I yelled. Slowly he started to loosen his tight fist. "...I won't let you do this!" His arm gradually moved down to his side. "...make it stop!" I felt the force of my ring pull my arm into the air. Reluctantly, Matt did the same. "...can't let this happen!" Matt's arm was shaking, trying to fight the powerful forces at work. I stared at his ring and said, "I want Matt's body!" His ring began to glow even brighter. The rings moved towards each other as if a magnetic force was attracting them. "...please David! Ahhhhh!", Matt cried. But it was too late. The rings joined once again.Â
This time the light emanating from the rings was blinding. A huge jolt of electricity ran through our bodies. I went rigid and clenched my teeth from the pain. Finally the shock wave subsided. I could feel a huge surge of power building up in my body. All of my muscle fibers were burning inside my body. Sweat started pouring down my face and chest. Suddenly, as if all of the stored energy was released at once, I began to transform into Matt at an accelerated speed. My chest burst outward and downward, ribcage expanding, biceps and triceps swelling, forearms thickening, shoulders getting bigger and rounder, waist narrowing, abs tightening, legs and calves inflating, lats becoming wider, back growing denser and more defined. My face morphed into Matt's in a matter of seconds. I could hear Matt yelling in pain, trying to resist the transformation. His screams quickly raised an octave as he unwillingly changed back into my body. I had gained 50 pounds of muscle in less than a minute. The surge of strength was incredible. The rings stopped glowing and separated from each other. I looked down at my bronzed body and saw the sweat trickle over my thick, hard chest and ripped abs.Â
I was in Matt's skin again. I felt my etched stomach with Matt's manly hands. This time it felt like I belonged in Matt's body. I looked over at Matt. He looked weak and tired. He was breathing deeply, exhausted from the failed battle with the rings.I wondered to myself if the rings would have the power to make Matt more submissive and make myself more aggressive. I focused on my ring, thinking how much I wanted to be more aggressive like Matt. Both of our rings began to pulse with energy. I saw an arc of light go from my ring to his. I felt a rush of adrenaline flowing through my body. Matt held his head as if he were dizzy. The rings glow gradually faded out. "Are you ok, Matt?" "Yeah, I think so." "Good. I wanted to make sure you were well enough to start your new job." "New job?" I smiled at him with his pearly white teeth, "Oh, I forgot to tell you. You're going to be my very own personal muscle slave." "Muscle slave?" "That's right. As punishment for your very bad behavior, I've decided that you need to learn what it's like to take orders from a real man." "I am not going to be your muscle slave, David. Forget it."Â
Without thinking, I reached over and grabbed Matt by the throat and easily lifted him into the air. Matt started gasping. "What was that you were saying?" Matt started choking. He grabbed my arm trying to loosen my grip. "What's the matter, Matt? I can't quite hear you." I loosened my grip slightly. Matt stopped pulling at my arm, knowing that it was a waste of time. Still gasping he managed to say, "Ok -- I'll be -- your muscle -- slave." I let him drop to the floor. He collapsed to the floor in a crumpled pile. I didn't even care that it was my old body lying there. "What are you waiting for slave?! Get up and grab the baby oil over there!", I demanded. Slowly Matt got off the floor and walked over to the baby oil sitting on the table. I picked up the dumbbells on the floor and started doing bicep curls. My arms quickly pumped up and became rock hard. "Rub oil on my massive biceps, slave!", I demanded. Matt obeyed my command without hesitation. He poured the baby oil in his right hand and started rubbing the oil over my 19-inch guns. "That feels good slave. Now rub some oil over my chiseled chest." "Come on David.", Matt pleaded. "Quiet slave!", I shouted; and pushed him down to the floor. "You will call me Master when you are worshiping me." Matt could tell I was serious in my demand and slowly picked himself off the floor. "Yes, Master", he said softly, not wanting to anger me further.Â
He began to rub oil over my thick, hard chest. I expanded my rib cage and heaved my chest out under his hands. "Doesn't that feel good, Slave?" He put his hand to his head as if he had a fever. I could tell the rings were beginning to have an effect. "Yes... yes Master it feels very good." "Excellent Slave. Now slide your hands down to my sexy abs." I blew some air out and tightened my abs into a hard 6-pack. Matt rubbed oil across them, feeling each recessed groove with his fingers. My display of power was turning him on. He felt aroused giving pleasure to what was once his own body. I could see he was getting an erection. "Ok, Slave. Oil up my quads and glutes." Matt started to slide his hands down to my legs. I grabbed his hands in a vice grip. Matt winced from the pain. "Slave? What do you say?" Matt was rubbing his hard-on. "Please Master, may I apply oil to your massive legs?" I let go of his crushed hands. "How do I know you really want to feel my muscles, Slave?" Matt unzipped his shorts, exposing his pulsing 9-inch cock.I was feeling more masculine, as if I had been injected with huge dose of testosterone. This must be what it's like to completely become Matt. His body and mind surging with aggression, power and masculinity. I knew that the rings had granted my request. I thought I would test the rings power further.Â
I grabbed Matt's hand and snapped the rings back together. "Hey, what are you doing?!", Matt protested. "I'm just trying something out. Be patient, Slave." I concentrated and spoke aloud, "I want to be 5-inches taller and gain 50-pounds of muscle." "No David, please don't!" The rings began to glow again. "David, I'm sorry I tried to hurt you. I swear! Please make it stop!" The glow gradually surrounded our bodies. I watched as Matt slowly began to shrink. Matt had a frightened look on his face as he shrunk from 6-foot-1 down to 5-foot-8. His muscle tone started to disappear. His arms and legs were losing most of their mass. His shoulders were narrowing. He looked just like a small teenager. He must have weighed about 120 lbs. Suddenly, I felt a surge of power coursing through my body. "It's working... I'm getting taller.", I said in a deeper voice. My body kept stretching taller, until I reached a height of 6-foot-3. I felt my muscles starting to burn. My biceps began to swell with new muscle. I watched as my 19-inch biceps grew to 23-inches in a matter of seconds. I looked down and saw my chest expanding, getting thicker, wider, heavier. My arms were moving further from my body as my lats started to widen. My waist was actually narrowing, giving me a more defined v-shape.Â
My quads grew 3-inches larger and my calves ballooned out a couple more inches. Each muscle group was even harder and more sculpted than before, if that were possible. The rings glow subsided. I felt like a god standing in front of Matt. I was 7-inches taller and a 150 lbs. heavier than him. At 6-foot 3-inch with 270 lbs. of solid muscle, I towered over him. The sight of a smaller, weaker Matt cowering below me was a huge turn on. I felt incredible power, knowing that I could completely dominate him. I tightened my chiseled legs and swung my arms up into a double-bicep pose. "You will worship this body now!", I said in a deep, thunderous bass. I threw the bottle of baby oil at Matt. The force almost knocked him over. "Get to work Slave!", I bellowed at him. He was shaking from fear, but obediently followed my orders. He began to apply the oil to my massive new body. "Here weakling, let me help you reach my chest." I grabbed Matt by the waist and picked him up like he were a rag doll. He rubbed oil on my thick chest and broad shoulders. I tilted Matt sideways and grabbed his side and one of his scrawny legs. I began to raise him overhead as if he were a dumbbell. He was so light I could have lifted him dozens of times without breaking a sweat. "Put me down, David! This isn't funny." I raised him towards the ceiling about 10 times and finally put him back on the floor. Matt was so frustrated he lashed out at me. With all his strength he slugged me in the stomach. I barely felt a thing. Matt grabbed his own hand.Â
"Damn. Your abs are hard as steel! I think I broke my wrist." "I guess things have changed since the last time you punched me in the stomach." Matt looked embarrassed and worried. "In fact, maybe I should return the favor and see if you can take a blow to the stomach." "Please don't hit me David. If you punch me using that arm you'll probably kill me!" I thought I'd scare him a little bit. "Well, I guess there's only one way to find out." I pulled my arm back, as if I was going to follow through with my threat. Matt collapsed to the floor, covering his head with his thin, boney arms. He started crying, begging me not to hurt him.We both heard someone honking their car's horn out front. Then I remembered that my best friend Brian was stopping by. He was suppose to wait for me, and I would come downstairs. "I can't let Brian see us like this. We better switch back." I pulled Matt up off the floor. He looked relieved. "If you misbehave again I'll leave us like this permanently. Understand, Slave?" "Yes, Master." The horn blared again, then we heard a car door slam. I connected both rings. Then I spoke aloud, "I want to become Matt again." They began to glow again. The doorbell rang. It was Brian. "David are you in there?" Our transformation was just beginning. I whispered to Matt, "Tell him you'll be there in a minute." Matt yelled, "Just a minute." "Is that you David? You sound funny." Matt's voice was a higher pitch than normal. Matt started growing. "Yeah, I'm fine. Hold on a sec." I could feel myself shrinking. We were now almost at the same height. "David, what's going on in there?" "Ummm, I'll be there shortly..." The transformation was almost over. Brian started knocking on the door.Â
"Come on David, let me in! Quit joking around!" The metamorphosis finally completed. The rings separated from each other. We were back the way we were before I had started my experiment.I unlocked the door and swung it open. "Hi Bry, come on in!" Brian was shocked to see Matt answer the door. He was even more surprised to see Matt covered in baby oil, wearing nothing but a Speedo. He took two steps back. "Matt what -? what are you ?- doing here?", Brian said nervously. I thought it might be fun to give Bry a thrill. "Step inside Brian, David and I were just having a muscle worship session." I grabbed Brian's arm and pulled him into the room. Brian saw what appeared to be David, standing in the middle of the living room with baby oil on his hands and his shorts pulled down. "David, what's going on here? What is Matt doing here? I thought Matt hated you? I don't understand." Matt wasn't sure what to say. He knew my friend wouldn't believe that he was actually Matt in David's body. "Go ahead David, answer him.", I ordered Matt. "Like Matt said, were having a muscle worship session." Brian looked really confused. "Hey Brian, David and I have worked out our differences. We're a lot closer than you think. You might even say I know David inside and out." I gave Brian a big smile, trying to reassure him. "I don't get it. The last time I talked to David he said that you had called him 'a big faggot'. Now you're the best of friends? What gives?" "Well, whatever problems David and I had in the past are ancient history. Trust me. You're looking at a brand new Matt." Brian looked skeptical. I closed the front door. Brian started to look concerned. "David, hand me the baby oil and go sit down over there." "Yes, Master." Matt obediently handed me the baby oil and sat in the chair in the corner of the room. I turned to Brian. "David told me the other day that you and him had some kind of a secret fantasy involving me."Â
Brian was shocked and embarrassed. He turned to Matt, "David, I can't believe you told him that secret!" I tried to pacify Brian, "Please don't blame David. We've shared a lot of our private thoughts and fantasies with each other. That's what friends do." "Well, I guess I understand. But it still makes me really uncomfortable to have you standing here, knowing that." "No problem, don't worry about it. In fact, I'm here to make your fantasy become a reality." Brian's interest had grown a bit. "What do you mean 'make my fantasy a reality'?" "I think you know what I mean, Brian." I winked at him. Then I poured some baby oil in my right hand. Brian was staring in disbelief. I rubbed the oil over my chiseled chest, slowly moving my hand in a circular motion over each pec and around each nipple. Gradually I moved both of my hands down to my 6-pack. I arched my back as I rubbed the oil over my abs, then back up to my chest. I could see Brian was getting turned on. I gently grabbed Brian's hands and placed them on my muscular chest. "Is this part of your fantasy, Brian?" "Oh god yeah, Matt!" He had a major hard-on. I moved his hands down to my ripped abs. I knew Brian had always wanted to do that. We both had fantasized about having our way with Matt. Now I was making that dream come true for both of us. "Oh Matt, your body is so hot. I can't believe you're letting me do this to you!" "It's my pleasure Brian. I'm enjoying this too. How about rubbing some oil on my pumped up biceps?" I thrust my arms up into a double-bicep pose, flared out my lats, and tightened my abs and quads. Brian had to control himself from cumming in his shorts. "Matt, you're a fucking Greek god. I want to feel every inch of your body." He reached up and grabbed my solid 19-inch arms. "This is unbelievable! Your arms are made of stone."Â
Then he moved his hands over my lats, and down to my quads. "Oh god! You feel so fucking good! Every part of you is hard as a rock!" Brian couldn't control himself any more and finally came. He shot his full load in his shorts. "OH GOD! ? That was the greatest orgasm I've ever had!" "Well I think I'm going to need a little help in that department myself, Bry." I slid down my Speedo over my muscled quads and held out my hard cock to him. Brian gladly knelt down and put his mouth over my throbbing meat. I was surprised what a good job he was doing. He knew exactly how to bring pleasure to this body. He put his lips on the head of my penis and tenderly moved his tongue around the outside of it. I could feel my balls tightening from the intense pleasure he was bringing me. He had his hands on my quads and slowly moved them up to my glutes, squeezing them tightly. His hands felt so good on my tight glutes. He started to pump his head up and down on my cock, taking in all 5-inches into his mouth and down his throat. I couldn't contain myself any longer and shot my load. Brian swallowed every drop with a big smile on his face. I knew that giving Matt a blow job was another one of Brian's fantasies. I looked over at Matt in the corner. He had been masturbating in the chair and had just climaxed too."Now that we all got are 'rocks' off. I think it's time we let Brian in on our little secret." Puzzled, Brian said "What are you talking about Matt? What little secret?"Â
I turned to Matt in my body, "Go ahead and tell him Slave." "Yes, Master. I'm Matt in David's body and David is in my body.", he said matter-of-factly. Brian looked at him in total disbelief. "What the fuck are you talking about David!?" I spoke up, "That's not David over there, Brian. I'm David here in Matt's body." "What kind of shit are trying to pull on me!? I suck your dick and get you off, then you unload this pile of crap on me! I don't think this is a bit funny." Brian started heading for the door. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards me. "Don't hurt me Matt! I'll believe whatever you want, just don't hurt me!", Brian pleaded. "I'm not going to hurt you Bry. It's me, David, in this body. I would never hurt you, babe." "Stop saying that! Why are you trying to convince me that you're David? I don't care who you are. I just want to get out of here!" Brian was trying to pull away from me. "Listen Bry. Remember the time we hid in the locker room at the gym and snuck into the special shower stall? Then we both jacked off peaking through the hole in the wall while we watched Matt lathering up his body?" Brian stopped pulling away from me. "That doesn't mean anything. You could have forced David to tell you that story." Matt got up from his chair; "You guys were getting off watching me in the shower? I knew there was something up with that hole!" "David, you weren't being watched, we were the ones watching Matt! What's wrong with you?" Brian said flustered. "I told you, you fuckin' faggot, I'm Matt!" Brian was shocked that David would talk to him in that tone. "Matt, you apologize to Brian, now!" "Yes, Master. I'm sorry I said that to you Brian." "Man, this is just too weird! I don't know what to think anymore." Brian was really confused and upset. I pleaded with Brian, "Bry, do you honestly think that Matt would be willing to come over to my... uh David's apartment and take off his clothes and let you rub oil on his body, then help him get off? Do you honestly think homophobic Matt would do something like that?" Brian thought about it for a minute. "Well, no. But it's easier to believe that, than to fall for your crock-o-shit story about switching bodies!" "Bry, I don't know what else I can say -? wait a minute, I think I have an idea. Come over here, Matt. We're going to put on a show for Brian." Matt did as he was told. "Bry, you stand over there." "Now what are you going to do Matt? Switch bodied with David again?" he said jokingly.Â
"Something like that. Just stand back and watch." I concentrated on the rings, thinking how I wanted Matt and I to have the same size body. The rings started to glow. Matt was looking forward to the transference and willingly put the rings together. A cool breeze started swirling around us. The light in the room began to dim. Brian looked scared. "Don't worry Bry, it's going to be ok." I shouted. The rings were glowing brighter. The energy slowly enveloped our bodies. Matt and I began to change. Brian watched as he saw his friend David's body start to swell up. He looked over at me. I had become a lot less muscular in a matter of seconds. I started growing taller and thinner. Matt was shrinking and gaining muscle. Brian couldn't believe his eyes. The breeze died down and the rings stopped glowing and came apart. We stood there facing each other. It looked like we were staring into a mirror. We had exactly the same body. We each sported a 7-inch hard-on and 16-inch biceps. My chest didn't stick out as far as before, and my 6-pack wasn't as defined as it had been.Â
But we both looked like those men you'd see in the International Male catalog. We each had a faded out tattoo on our shoulder, and a partial appendix scar on our stomach. Matt was checking out his improved physique. Brian came over to me and put his hands on my face. "David it really is you! Part of you looks like Matt, and part of you looks like -- you! It's amazing!" "Bry, I'm glad I finally convinced you that I'm really David inside here." "What I don't get is that you let me grope your body and give you a blow job. What's up with that?" "Well, I figured this might be the only chance either one of us would be able to experience this incredible body. Are you mad at me?" "Nah. I could never get mad at you. You're my bud. Besides, it was pretty hot wasn't it." Bry gave me a big smile. "Bry, now I can tell you the whole story." I told him all about Mr. Asito, finding the rings in the lockers, and all the bad stuff that went down in this apartment. Brian turned to Matt, "You fuckin' prick! You were going to beat up David after he gave you back your body!?" "What are you going to do about it, little man?" Matt grabbed Brian, and pinched his shoulder. Brian let out a yell. "He's not going to do anything about it -? I am!" I grabbed Matt's hand and snapped the rings back together. "Oh shit! I didn't mean to hurt your friend. Please don't!" "It's too late for apologies Matt." I stared at the rings, "I want Matt's body." "David I'm sorry... NOOOO!"Â
A few minutes later I stood there in Matt's body once again.Brian walked over to me, amazed that I had become Matt again. "Dave, you should leave Matt in your old body forever. That fuckin' homophobe doesn't deserve this body. If he had the chance, he would beat the crap out of both of us." "Maybe you're right Bry. I'll have to give it some thought." Matt chimed in, "What do you mean you're going to keep my body forever!? That body belongs to me!" "Not right now, it doesn't. I think Mr. Asito was right when he said, Until you find the truth with which you are afraid to face, you will not be the man you long to be." "Mr. Asito is a crazy old man who is full of shit!" "Maybe so, but until I say otherwise, these bods stay as they are; and if I hear any more lip service out of you, I'll make you SO passive that you'll be afraid of your own god damn shadow! Is that understood Slave?" Matt knew when he was beaten, "Yes, Master." "In fact, while I've got this huge body, I should have something that goes with my size." I concentrated on my ring. An arc of light went from my ring to his. Panicked, Matt said "What are you doing?!" "You'll see soon enough Matt." I felt a sudden movement in my Speedo. Smiling, I looked down and saw my dick starting to grow. Matt had a shocked look on his face. He grabbed his shorts and unzipped them. He saw his 9-inch dick begin to shrink. "Oh, no! Come on David! Please!"
Matt's dick continued to narrow and shrink until it was 5-inches. I watched as my dick became thicker and longer. It grew so long that the head of my penis pushed itself out of my Speedo and was rubbing against my 6-pack. "That's more like it. I guess I'll have to buy a larger Speedo, right Matt?" "Please David. Don't leave me with my old dick and your body. It isn't fair." "We'll see Matt. I'll probably give my dick back to you, but right now I think I'm going to be needing it for later." Brian walked over to me. "Dave, that was really cool. I got a hard-on watching your dick grow like that. Maybe you can give me a huge dick too?" "Maybe later, Bry. Right now I've got other plans. Why don't you take Matt over to Ripples, so he can meet some of our friends and get used to being David. I've got a hot date with a very special guy." "Isn't Ripples that queer bar down at the beach?" Brian swung Matt around to face him. "It's called a gay bar, scrawny boy." "Matt you be a good boy and we'll see about switching back. See ya guys later. Let me know if he misbehaves, Bry." "Will do, Dave -? um I mean Matt." We both smiled at each other. Before I headed out, an interesting idea popped into my head. I reached over and grabbed Matt's hand and slipped off the ring. "Hey! What are you doing, I need that ring to switch back into my body!" Matt said concerned. "Don't worry Matt, I promise I won't lose it. I thought it might come in handy later tonight." I stuffed my erection back inside my Speedo. I kissed Bry on the cheek and headed out the door. I jumped in Matt's Corvette and headed back to the gym. Bry and Matt got in Bry's car and headed over to Ripples. I was really looking forward to seeing Doug again. I had a feeling something might happen between us tonight.
Switch - Part 3
I headed back to the gym, hoping that Doug would still be there. As I was driving, I began to feel more comfortable in my new body. It was if I was getting used to being in Matt's skin. It felt so natural having my muscular arms holding on to the steering wheel and gear shift, and my thick, heavy chest pressed against my skin-tight tank top. I could feel the muscles flexing in my massive legs as I used the clutch, gas pedal and brake. I looked up in the rear-view mirror and saw Matt's handsome face staring back at me. I smiled as I felt my 9-inch dick begin to swell in my Speedo.Brian and Matt arrived at Ripples. "Can't we just tell David that we went in, and do something else instead?", Matt pleaded. "I don't think so Matt. David wouldn't like that, and I don't think you want to get David mad right now." Brian grabbed Matt's arm and led him to the entrance. There was a big guy standing at the door. "Hey, how's it going David?", the doorman said, "...you haven't been here in a while." Brian answered for Matt, "Well, he hasn't been feeling like himself lately." "Oh, you've been under-the-weather, David?", he said with a concerned look on his face. Matt spoke up, "Yeah, you might say that. I've been feeling pretty weak." "Well, I hope you start to feel like your old self again real soon." "I'm looking forward to that dude." Brian grabbed Matt's arm and led him through the door.Â
Matt was surprised to find the inside of the place looked just like every other bar he had been in. There were a couple of pool tables off to the right. Neon beer signs were hanging all over the place. There were a couple of guys in the corner playing darts. "This isn't at all what I expected.", Matt said to Brian. "What did you expect, guys doing it with each other on top of the bar?" Embarrassed, Matt said "No, it's just that I had this picture in my mind of what a gay bar is like. Ya know, kinda sleazy, everything in the dark. This place is just like my hangout." "I'm glad you like it Matt. David and I come here all the time. It's the only place we can go where we feel safe and can be comfortable being ourselves. The outside world can be pretty cruel sometimes." Matt didn't know what to say. He knew Brian had directed that last comment at him. Feeling guilty, Matt looked down at the floor and said "I'm really sorry Brian." "Thanks Matt. I have a feeling you really meant that. Let's go on upstairs and have some fun."I arrived at the gym and saw Doug's car parked out front. "Good, he's still here.", I said to myself in my deep baritone voice. I walked into the gym and saw Doug laying down on the bench press. It looked like he was trying to lift two or three-hundred pounds. The weights on the bar looked huge. I knew as David, I wouldn't have been able to lift half of that weight; but with Matt's body I could easily handle it. I walked over. "Need some help with that?" I gave Doug a big smile. Surprised, he sat up. "Matt, you're back? How is David? He's ok isn't he? I was really getting worried." It was sweet how concerned Doug was about my well being. "I told you nothing bad was going to happen to David. Trust me, he's fine. In fact, I'd say he feels like a new man today." "That's great Matt.Â
I knew in my heart you wouldn't do anything to hurt him.", Doug said relieved. "So Doug, do you need a spotter?", I said smiling. "Sure Matt. You can spot me ANY time." Realizing how forward that must have sounded, Doug started to blush. I thought it was cute how shy Doug was. It made him even more attractive, if that were possible. Doug laid back down on the bench and slid under the barbell. I went to the back of the bench and got in position. I watched as Doug hefted the massive weight off the weight rack and dropped it down to his chest. He let out a grunt as he forced the weight upward. His upper body was shaking as he fought against the force of gravity. He was able to do 10 reps before finally giving out. I grabbed the weight and helped him put it back up on the rack. Doug looked so sexy as he laid there breathing so heavily covered in sweat. I couldn't control myself anymore. I walked around to face him, bent down and kissed him on the lips. Suddenly, Doug grabbed me around my waist and pulled me on top of him. It felt wonderful pressed against Doug's muscular body. We wrapped our arms around each other while embraced in our passionate kiss. The kiss seemed to last an eternity, but was more like a few minutes. "Matt, I've dreamed of this happening, but I never thought it actually would." "Well, I was recently told that sometimes the impossible is possible." Smiling, Doug said "That's definitely true for me." "Me too Doug." "Matt, why don't we get cleaned up and go back to my place?" "That's a great idea Doug." We kissed each other again and headed for the showers.Brian and Matt headed up the stairs. They could hear the thumping bass of the disco music getting louder. About halfway up the stairs Matt recognized the song as that old gay standby "It's Rainin' Men". When they reached the top of the stairs they saw about forty young men dancing under the flashing disco lights and twirling mirrored balls. There were a couple dozen men standing around the dance floor, drinking, talking and smoking. Matt had never seen so many gay men in one place before, and they all seemed to be having a great time. Brian noticed how nervous Matt looked, "Matt, how about a drink?" "That sounds like a great idea, Brian." Matt watched the couples dancing as they slowly made their way over to the bar. Matt turned away from the dance floor and looked for the bartender. There standing behind the bar was the most attractive man Matt had ever seen. His face was so incredibly beautiful. Golden blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, masculine chiseled features and a well manicured goatee.Â
His body was truly a work of art. He had the same muscle mass that Matt used to have, but his torso had a more sculpted look. His waist was narrower and his shoulders were wider, making him look like some sort of living, breathing Adonis. Yet as intimidating a figure as he was, he projected a great deal of warmth and kindness. He was wearing a muscle t-shirt and skin-tight Levi's cut-offs. No man had ever had this kind of effect on him before. Brian saw how entranced Matt was of the bartender. "He's quite a sight isn't he?" "Uhhhh, yeah I guess so." "Ya know Matt... Kevin has known David for a long time." "Kevin? His name his Kevin?" "Yeah, he really has a thing for David, and right now you're David. If you play your cards right you never know." Brian winked at Matt. Matt blushed.Doug and I walked into the changing room and started to undress. We both enjoyed watching each other take off our clothes. I could see that Doug was really getting turned on. I was getting aroused too. He slowly pulled off his bikini briefs revealing a throbbing 8-inch hard on. I smiled at him and removed my bulging Speedo. Doug's smile turned into a look of shock and surprise. I was puzzled. "What's wrong Doug?" Doug didn't say anything, he was staring at my erection. "Don't you like what you see?" "Sure I do Matt, but I'm a little confused." "What do you mean?" "I've seen you naked before Matt, and I don't want to sound cruel but I don't remember you being so well endowed." "What are you talking about?" "Matt, I've seen you hard... you're dick is 5-inches, 5 1/2 tops! What are you doing with that?" I looked down and saw my 9-inch dick pointing up at me. I forgot that I had borrowed my longer dick from my old body. "Doug I think I can explain, but I doubt if you'll believe me." "Try me." "Ok, I'll give you the Readers Digest version. For starters, I'm not the Matt that you've always known. I'm actually David inside Matt's body."Â
I could already tell that Doug thought I was jerking him around. I continued, "You see it all started when I saved Mr. Asito from a falling tower of weights. He ended up giving Matt and me these special rings..." I showed him the ring on my finger and pulled the other ring out of my pocket. "When Matt joined the rings together they switched our bodies. I became Matt, and Matt became me, ...uh that is he became David." Doug had a blank look on his face. "Later I decided to switch our bodies back as long as I could become Matt whenever I wanted. Matt didn't like that, and had some other ideas. So, I kept his body and borrowed my -- I mean David's larger dick." Doug just stared at me, wondering what to make of my crazy story. "Doug, I know it sounds totally farfetched, but I swear to God it's true. I'm really David in Matt's body." "I don't know what to think. Right now I can't decide if I want to fuck your brains out or if I should call 911 and put you into a padded cell." "Personally, I like your first choice better." I gave him a smile. Doug didn't seem amused. "I should put back on my clothes and get the hell out of here, but something in your eyes is telling me not to." "That's good Doug, maybe you're seeing the real me that's inside." "This is getting really weird. Is there any way you can prove to me that you're telling the truth?" "I'm not sure." "That's what I thought, I'm outta here." Doug started to grab his clothes off the floor. "Wait a minute, I just remembered something. Remember when you told David that you knew he was gay, and you were tired of pretending to be the straight jock? Then you told him that you really liked Matt and that you wanted to have a gay friend that you could confide in?" Doug looked shocked. "How did you know that?" "Exactly. If I were really Matt do you think that David would have told me, I mean Matt, what we had talked about?" Doug pondered what I had said, "No, David wouldn't have told Matt." "See? That proves that I'm really David." "I'm still not convinced.Â
Maybe you forced David to tell you that secret. Maybe that's what you did when you went over to his place earlier." I was getting frustrated. I wasn't sure what else to do. Suddenly an idea struck me.Kevin came over to Brian and Matt. "Hi guys, how's it going? Hey David, I haven't seen you in here in a while. I've missed you." Matt couldn't stop staring at Kevin. Up close he was even more stunning. Kevin noticed that Matt was in a trance. "David, are you ok?" Matt finally snapped out of it. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Yeah, I've missed you too." "Is there anything special I can get you?" Matt thought to himself, "Sure I'd like to see you naked in my bed!" Matt couldn't believe he was having thoughts like that about another man. Brian could see that Matt wasn't going to answer Kevin, so he spoke up, "We'll have a couple of screwdrivers." "Sure thing." Kevin walked off to make the drinks. "Matt, what's up with you? You're drooling all over Kevin. What's going on?" "I don't know. I've never been attracted to men before. I don't know what's happening to me!" "Maybe you're finally getting in touch with your feelings?" Kevin came back with the drinks. "What do we owe you for the drinks?", Matt asked. "No charge for you. But I'm sure you'll think of some way to repay me." Kevin gave Matt a huge smile and put his hand on top of Matt's. Matt's face turned beet red. "It's so cute the way you're embarrassed by the smallest sign of affection." Matt stared into Kevin's beautiful blue eyes and it felt like his legs were turning to jello. Brian spoke up, "Well I guess I'll leave you two guys alone... three's a crowd." Panicked, Matt said "Brian don't leave!" Kevin interjected, "Bry you're a good guy. It's nice of you to give Dave and me some privacy." "It's my pleasure."Â
Kevin patted him on the shoulder. Brian winked at Kevin and walked away. Matt was nervous and excited. He didn't know what was about to happen. "I've got a half-hour break. Why don't we go in the office and talk?" Kevin came out from behind the bar and grabbed Matt's hand and led him into the private office."Doug how would you like to try an experiment?" "What kind of experiment?" "Well, if my idea really works it will prove that I was telling the truth; and if it doesn't work you can put me in the padded cell. Ok?" Doug thought about it for a minute. "Alright Matt, if it doesn't work you promise to tell me the real story?" "I promise. Let's go into the locker room. People going by can see us out here." "Ok Matt, we're in the locker room. What's the experiment? Don't tell me your going to switch our bodies?" Doug started laughing. "That's exactly what I'm planning to do. At least that's what I'm hoping to do.", I said concerned. "Fine, let's get this over with." I handed Doug the other ring. "Here put this on." "So now what? I've put on the ring, now were suppose to put them together and switch bodies, right?" I could tell Doug was just humoring me. I knew if this didn't work, Doug would storm out of here and never want to talk to me again. "Ok Doug, I just wanted to let you know what's about to happen. When we put the rings together the room is going to darken, you'll feel a cool breeze swirling around you, and there will be a surge of energy that will flow through your body." "Got it, Matt." I had a feeling that Doug wasn't even paying attention to what I was saying, and whatever he had listened to he didn't believe at all. "Ready Doug?" "Yeah, sure Matt."Â
Doug and I put the rings together. Nothing happened. "Now we have to concentrate on switching bodies. Close your eyes and concentrate." We both closed our eyes. Still nothing happened. "We should stare at our own ring and speak out loud our desire. You should say "I want Matt's body" and I'll say that I want your body." "Matt come on, enough is enough." "Please Doug, just humor me for a little while longer." "Ok, I'll give you one more minute." "Great... ready, get set, 1, 2, 3, go!" We both made our demands to the rings, "I want Matt's body." "I want Doug's body." We waited. Still nothing happened. "I don't understand Doug. I was sure that it was going to work. I don't know what went wrong?" "Sorry Matt, I know you really believed that we were going switch bodies. When you decide to tell me the real story give me call, until then I don't want to hear any more of your fairy tales." Doug grabbed his clothes and got dressed. I decided to get dressed too. I thought I might be able to convince Doug that I hadn't made up the whole thing. We heard a voice behind us. "Those who don't wish to believe, make the possible... impossible." Surprised, we both turned around. Mr. Asito was in the doorway. "Hi Mr. Asito, it's me David." "Yes David, I know it is you." "Oh great, you've got Mr. Asito in on your little joke too.", Doug said sarcastically. Mr. Asito turned to face Doug, "David cares a great deal for you. He would never do anything to hurt you. Why is it so hard for you to believe in something that is beyond this world?" Before Doug could answer, Mr. Asito placed his fingers on Doug's face. Doug stood there unable to move. He looked like he was in a trance. "You must release your mind. You must release your doubt. Now you can believe." Mr. Asito removed his hand, then turned to me. "I can see Doug is a very special to you. Be patient with him. He will come around soon enough." He winked at me, then headed out the door."Are you ok Doug?" "I think so. I feel pretty strange." "Mr. Asito had done the same thing to me. That's how he found out I wanted to be Matt."Â
"You ARE Matt. Oh, never mind. I just want to get out of here." "Come on Doug. Let's try it one more time, please." "You're not going to let up are you?" "Please Doug. Just humor me." "If I do, then will you leave me alone and let me go home?" "Yes, I swear." "Ok, one last time." Doug and I put the rings together again. "Concentrate on your ring. You have to want the transformation to take place, otherwise it won't work." "Alright, I'm concentrating. I want your body. I want your body." I focused on my ring. "I want Doug's body." A few seconds had passed. "Matt I feel strange, like I'm burning up." "Me too. I think it's beginning." We both looked down at the rings. They were starting to glow. "Matt what's happening?" "It worked. We're going to switch bodies!" The lights began to dim. A cool breeze started to flow around us. The energy from the rings slowly traveled up our arms and gradually enveloped our entire bodies. I grabbed Doug with my free hand and pulled him against me. I smiled at him. Doug looked frightened. "Don't worry Doug, if you don't fight it, it won't hurt as much." "Ok! I'll try not to fight it." "Give me a kiss for good luck." "A kiss?" I reached up and kissed Doug and held him tight. We continued kissing passionately when the transformation started. I could feel my body begin to change. My shoulders were getting wider, my waist was tightening. My abs were shifting position. I could feel Doug's body changing while we were pressed up against each other. My legs and torso were stretching taller. When we separated from our kiss we were exactly the same height. "Matt this is incredible! I'm becoming you!" "I know isn't this amazing!" We sounded exactly alike. I continued to grow taller and wider.Â
Doug was shrinking before my eyes. He had lost 4 inches in height in a matter of seconds. I watched as his features changed into Matt's. He slowly morphed from a blue-eyed blonde Nordic to a black-eyed black-haired Roman. I could feel my features changing as I watched Doug changing into me. Gradually the transformation ended. The rings separated and our arms dropped to our sides. Doug and I stood there staring at each other's new body. "Matt this is unbelievable! You've got my body! Wow, I sound just like you" "Like I've been trying to tell you... I wasn't Matt, I was David. Now do you believe me?" "Yeah, I guess I have to now, since I'm standing here in Matt's body. I've got to see what I look like naked." Doug ripped off his clothes and began to pose in front of the mirror. "David what's going on?" "What do you mean?" "Look at my dick. It's only 5-inches long. When you had Matt's body it was 9-inches. What happened?"Kevin locked the office door. "I thought we might want to have some privacy, David." Matt was nervous and excited at the same time. "Sure Kevin. Uh, what did you have in mind?" Kevin smiled, grabbed Matt and pulled him tight against his body. Matt was getting aroused at how aggressive Kevin was. Matt slowly placed his hands on Kevin's torso. He could feel Kevin's well defined abs through the tight muscle-t. He moved his hands over his thick chiseled chest and hard biceps. He could feel how powerful and masculine Kevin was. Now he understood why David was so turned on by Matt's own body, because now he found Kevin's muscles incredibly sexy.Â
Still, he kept wondering why a stud like Kevin would be attracted to a scrawny guy like David. Suddenly he felt his dick stirring in his shorts. It was getting hard. Not only was it getting hard. It was starting to get a lot longer and thicker too. Kevin looked down and saw Matt's dick growing in his shorts. "Dave, I'm glad you're enjoying this as much as I am." Matt's dick pushed it's way out of his shorts. The head of his penis was sticking out about an inch. "Oh my God, I've got a 9-inch dick again!" "It looks incredible, and so do you." Kevin passionately kissed Matt. Matt was surprised how wonderful it felt having his lips pressed against Kevin's. He loved the feeling of Kevin's goatee as it rubbed against his face. Kevin plunged his tongue into Matt's mouth. Matt felt like he was melting into Kevin. It was like they were becoming one with each other. He grabbed Kevin's firm round ass and squeezed it tightly, and slowly moved his hands up to Kevin's muscular back, then over his hard, massive shoulders. Matt's dick was hard as a rock. He suddenly pulled away from Kevin. Kevin looked puzzled. "What's wrong David?" "I'm not sure. I've never had these feelings for a man before. I can't help but wonder why you're even attracted to a guy like me?" "That's simple. You're the sweetest, nicest, most caring guy I know. I'd be crazy not to be in love with you." "In love? You're in love with David? Um, I mean me." Kevin smiled. "David, sometimes you are so slow." Kevin leaned over and kissed Matt tenderly on the lips."Doug I think I know what happened. When we switched bodies, my 9-inch dick must have returned to my old body." "Oh, I guess that makes sense.Â
That wasn't part of Matt's body, so it wouldn't transfer with him." "I'm sure Matt must have been pleasantly surprised.", I said. "Well David, even with a 5-inch cock, Matt's body is incredible. I've fantasized about being intimate with Matt hundreds of times. Now I'm actually him! This is so unreal." Doug was looking in the mirror, feeling the contours of his face. "I know. I couldn't believe it when Matt and I switched bodies. I've always dreamed of having a body like that. I'm not really looking forward to giving it back." "Who says you have to give it back right away?" "Eventually I'll have to trade back. It's not fair to Matt. That is his body after all." "I guess your right, David." "Earlier today I used the rings to shrink Matt into a 120 lb. weakling, while I grew into a 6-foot-3, 270 lbs monster. Having that kind of power turned me into someone that I didn't like very much." "Well, what are going to do?" "I'm going to go over to Ripples and switch bodies with Matt. Will you come with me?" "Sure. But do we have to leave right this second? Why don't we get in the shower and have some fun?" "Sounds terrific, Doug." "First, I want to switch back into my own body. I don't think I can make love to my own body. That's just too weird." "My thoughts exactly. Besides, I'm looking forward to sticking Matt's dick up your ass." I gave Doug a wicked smile. Doug laughed... "Oooh, you're such a charmer David." I snapped the rings back together. I few minutes later Doug was back in his body, and I was Matt again. We kissed each other and headed for the showers. We spent the next 2 hours making love as the warm water cascaded over our muscular bodies. It was the most beautiful experience both of us had ever had. We finally left the showers, walked over to the lockers and toweled each other off. We stared at each other for a moment, knowing that we would never see each other like this again. We embraced in a kiss.Â
Then we smiled at each other and headed out the door."David, how about going back to my place?", Kevin said. Matt didn't know what to do. He had never felt such a strong attraction to anyone, let alone a man. The thought of being intimate with Kevin was very exciting. Then he thought about Kevin feelings. He was in love with David. Not someone else inside of David's body. He knew if there were any chance of having an honest relationship, he would have to tell Kevin the truth somehow. He wasn't sure how he was going to do it. "Kevin, I'd love to go back to your place. But, I have something I need to tell you first." "Let me guess, it's another man?" "No, not exactly. Actually, I'm another man." "What do you mean? You've got multiple personalities?" "I know you're not going to believe me, but this morning I was Matt Johnson, a personal trainer at World Gym. I had a huge muscular body, just like you." Kevin just stared at Matt with a blank look on his face. Matt continued, "David and I found these rings in our lockers. We put them on and snapped them together. A few minutes later I was in David's body, and he had my body. Mr. Asito, the guy that gave us the rings, told me that I needed to look within myself before I could return to my body. I think I've done that. I discovered that I had kept my real feelings buried deep inside and I was taking it out on everybody else by being a pompous homophobic bully." "Wow David, that's quite an imagination you've got there. That would make a really cool episode of the X-Files. But if you don't want to go back to my place, just say so. I'll understand." Matt was getting frustrated. He had to think of some way to convince Kevin.Doug and I arrived at Ripples. We walked in and found Brian sitting at the bar by himself. Matt wasn't there. "Brian where is Matt?", I said. "Hey, David! Um, I mean Matt.", Brian smiled. "Never mind that. What happened to Matt?"Â
"Oh, he's having a very private meeting with Kevin. I wouldn't disturb them if I were you." "Don't worry. He'll be glad to see me. Come on Doug, let's go." We headed upstairs."Kevin, I do want to go back to your place. It's just that I wanted you to know that you wouldn't be with the person you thought you were with." Kevin looked really confused. "I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I find it really cute that you're trying so hard to convince me that you're not David." "Did I ever show an interest in being with you before?" "We'll not really. You said I was very attractive, but that you had this major crush on a guy named Doug." "That's the other personal trainer at the gym! David knew that Doug wanted to be with me, I mean Matt. That's why he wanted to be me. David was in love with Doug, and the only way he could have a chance with him was to become Matt. Then it really happened. We swapped bodies. While I was David, I realized that I was a gay man pretending to be this macho straight guy. Then I saw you standing there behind the bar, and I suddenly knew that I wanted to be with you." Kevin had a worried look on his face. "David, I think you actually believe your own wild story. I'm starting to get concerned. Maybe you need some sort of medication or therapy." "I swear Kevin, I'm telling you the truth!"I knocked on the door. Kevin said, "Come on in."Â
Doug and I walked in. "Hi Matt. Hi Kevin. Sorry to bother you two.", I said. "Who are you?", Kevin asked, "...and why did you call David, Matt?" "Well, that's sort of hard to explain." "Don't tell me, let me guess, you're David, right?" "How did you know? Did Matt tell you?" "Ok, a joke's a joke, but this is really sick. I'm getting out of here." Kevin headed for the door. Doug blocked his path. "He's telling the truth. I think you ought to hear him out. In fact, David came here to tell Matt something important." Kevin stopped and turned around. "Fine, I can't wait to hear this." I walked over to Matt. "I've decided to swap bodies with you, permanently. Having this kind of power over someone is too destructive. I don't like the person I've become." "Really David? That's funny... ever since I became you, I got to know the real me inside. I discovered that I'm also gay, and that I was so afraid that I was taking it out on you and your friends. I'm truly sorry for being so abusive and for trying to hurt you earlier today." I could see that Matt was sincere in his apology. "I forgive you Matt. Now let's get back in our own bodies." I instructed Doug and Kevin to stand back. I could tell by the look on Kevin's face that he didn't believe any of this. I gave Matt the other ring. He slipped it on his finger. "Ok Matt, here goes." We snapped the rings back together. "Matt you go first", I said. Matt stared down at the rings, "I want to become Matt again." I focused my thoughts on the rings, "I want to become David again." Rings began to glow. The room lights began to dim. A cool breeze started to envelop us. Kevin looked frightened and started to back up towards the door. Doug grabbed him and told him it would be ok. The glow of energy covered our bodies one more time. I could see a change happening under Matt's clothing. His chest was expanding. His arms started to fill out with muscle. His waist was tightening. I could see his abs forming. I felt myself growing taller, becoming weaker. I saw my arms deflating. Kevin couldn't believe his eyes. He realized that Matt was telling the truth. Matt's legs swelled with muscle. He burst out of his shirt. It fell to the floor in tattered rags. His chiseled chest glistened from the sweat trickling down his v-shaped torso. His shoulders continued to widen as his lats filled in.Â
A few minutes later the transformation ended. We stood facing each other in our old bodies.Kevin walked over to Matt. "That was incredible. If I hadn't been here I never would have believed it. You were telling me the truth. You really are Matt... and if you don't mind me saying so, you are gorgeous." "Thanks Kevin. I was hoping that some day I'd be able to kiss you in this body. That day is today." Matt reached over and passionately kissed Kevin. Kevin reciprocated by grabbing Matt in a tight embrace. "Why don't we head back to my place and you can tell me the entire story. Then afterwards, who knows?" "Sure thing Kevin. See you later guys." Matt and Kevin heading out the door."Well Doug, I guess I'd better head back to the gym and return the rings to Mr. Asito." "I'll go with you David." On the way back to the gym, Doug and I started to talk. "David, I much as wish you were still in Matt's body, I think you made the right decision by switching back with him. You were living in a fantasy world, even though it was a wonderful fantasy, it was just that... a fantasy." "I know. I'm really going to miss having those awesome muscles and that handsome face." "David, you're handsome in your own way. You're a really sweet, caring guy. Don't forget that." I grabbed Doug's hand. "I won't Doug. Thanks."We arrived at the gym and walked into the locker room. There sweeping up the floor was Mr. Asito. "Hi Doug. Hi David. I see you've returned to your body. Very interesting." "I didn't like the person I had become when I had the power of the rings, so I came back here to return them to you." I handed Mr. Asito the rings. "Very impressive David. That kind of power can corrupt the most noble of people. It is a wise man that makes the difficult choice that will benefit him down the road of life." "Thank you, Mr. Asito." "Please, call me Daniel." "Ok, Daniel. I just wanted to thank you for giving me the opportunity to live out a terrific fantasy." "It was my pleasure David. But this fantasy is not over quite yet." "What do you mean?" "To reward you for your truly unselfish act, I want you to put the rings together one last time." Mr. Asito placed one ring on each of my hands. He turned me to face the full length mirror. "Now David, join the rings." I looked over at Doug for his opinion.Â
Doug smiled and shook his head. I looked down and snapped the rings together. Mr. Asito held his hands over the rings and spoke a lengthy incantation. His hands started to glow with a bluish-white aura. A bolt of energy went from his hands into the rings. The rings began to ebb and flow with the blue and white glow. Slowly the glow made it's way up my arms, over my shoulders, up to my neck. It gradually covered my face. I looked in the mirror and saw it move down my torso until it enveloped my entire body. The lights flickered then went completely out. The only light in the room was emanating from my body. I could feel a cool breeze swirling around me. Mr. Asito spoke, "Now it shall begin."I looked in the mirror and saw my body start to change. All of the fat around my waist slowing began to disappear. In about 30 seconds, I was totally lean. There wasn't an ounce of fat anywhere on my body. I looked like the volleyball players I had always admired at the beach. I thought it was nice that Mr. Asito had given me the gift of a lean fit body. I took off my shirt and waited for the glow to subside, but it didn't.Â
The glowing started to get even brighter. My waist began to narrow and tighten. I could see my oblique muscles developing on my sides. My stomach started to flatten. I rubbed my stomach with my hand and felt a six-pack of abs forming right under my skin. I watched as they slowly grew out from my tightening torso. My abs were now hard as a rock. "Doug, look what's happening to me! Look at my abs!" "I know David. It's incredible!" My rib cage was expanding. My chest started to grow outward and down. I could feel the muscle forming, getting thicker. It felt like I had two slabs of stone attached to my body. In a matter of seconds, I had a massive chiseled chest hanging over my ripped abs. Then my arms started to move away from my sides. My lats were growing at an accelerated rate. My arms were hanging at least a foot away from my waist. My shoulders started to burn. I looked to my right and saw my shoulder swelling with muscle. Then my 13-inch arms expanded to a solid 19-inches. My forearms thickened.Â
I looked down and watched my legs as they continued to grow. My quads and hamstrings blossomed out. Becoming full and thick. The huge muscles looked like they were carved into my leg. When I flexed my thigh I could see all of the muscle groups separate. My calves suddenly ballooned to 3-times their size. "It is not over, look in the mirror, David." Mr. Asito requested. I looked up and saw my face changing. My jaw-line was becoming more angular. My chin was more square. My nose was narrowing, becoming straighter. My cheekbones were moving up my face. My lips were becoming more sensual, fuller. My eye color changed from a brownish grey to a crystal clear sky blue. My eyebrows filled in, looking thicker and making my eyes look even more sexy. When I smiled I saw 32 perfect teeth smiling back at me. Then as quickly as it began, it had ended. The breeze died down. The lights gradually came back on. The glow encompassing my body vanished. "The transformation has finished.", Mr. Asito has proclaimed. I stared at my image in the mirror. I was even a more spectacular specimen that Matt. I couldn't believe it was actually me. Then I wondered, "Daniel who have I become? I didn't have the ring connected to anyone else.", I said in a much deeper voice. "This is the real you, David. Standing before you is what you would have become if only the best parts of you had been able to develop.Â
The rings filtered out the worst parts of your genetic code, leaving you with what you see before you." "I think I understand." Doug walked over. "David, you look amazing! You're even larger than me!" "I know. This is unbelievable." "I think the two of you have a lot to discuss." Mr. Asito winked and smiled. I handed Mr. Asito the rings and gave him a big bear hug. I turned to Doug, "You know I love you, Doug. Do you think you can learn to love the new me?" "There's only one way to find out." Doug put his hands on my face and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips. "I think I might be able to used to the new you!" Doug had a big smile on his face. We both laughed. Then we put our arms around each other's waist and headed out the door together. Doug and I had a feeling this was the beginning of something wonderful.
-- The End --
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Managing 2
Summary: Thirteen years have passed. Both Dory and Michael are thirteen, and almost thirteen respectively. Doryâs birthdayâs in a couple of months. School is hectic. The joys of raising teens. And then comes one more surprise for the household. How will they handle this? Are they too old?
Now onto the story:
Thirteen years passed so quickly, that it seemed like merely blinking had brought teens into existence at the red brick house with the white picket fence. As usual, with teens, the house was in chaos. âPhil?â Dan called out.
âYeah?â Phil questioned.
âWhereâs my hair straightener?â Dan asked.
âI thought you didnât straighten your hair anymore?â Phil asked, as he and Dan almost collided in the hallway.
âOnly for important meetings, and Iâve got a doozy today, our schedules are overflowing, and weâve got kids to wake up,â Dan answered.
Phil sniffed the air,
âI think I know where the spare hair straightener ended up.â Phil went up the stairs, and went to where Michaelâs room was at.
Michael was just about to turn thirteen in a few weeks and was showing his mischievousness. When Phil entered the room, he found the  straightener plugged into the wall, and a Barbieâs face smashed against the hot part.
âMichael Lester-Howell; how many times have we told you no setting things on fire in the house?â Phil yelped out.
âToo many times to count,â Michael grinned up at Phil.
âUnplug that, and give it to your Papa, and give the Barbie back to your sister,â Phil said, as the straightener dropped out of Michaelâs hand and landed near his fatherâs trainer.
âDo Not set another pair of trainers on fire either,â Phil said, as he watched Michael unplug the instrument and hand it to him.
âThank you,â Phil said, and went back down the stairs.
âThat Was A Collectorâs Edition BARBIE!!!!â A cry of anger rent the air, and Phil closed his eyes, and opened them, when he met Dan down in the foyer.
âHere you go,â Phil handed Dan, the hair straightener.
âWhyâs there a chunk of plastic on here? Canât I just use one of your straighteners?â Dan asked.
âWell, our son was being a sneaky-snek and he melted one of the Barbiesâ faces. According to our daughter, she was a collectorsâ itemâŚ.IDK,â Phil shrugged his shoulders.
âAnd yeah, whatâs mine is yours. Go ahead and use my straightener,â Phil said. Â
Dory collected action figures, and little figurines along with her various Barbies from around the world. She had a Dutch one, a Spanish one, and a British one. Michael was into the consoles and games part of  his genetics makeup. Soon, heâd probably be vlogging and making videos of his own.
A little while later, Dory came down the stairs, a curtain of her strawberry red hair was hiding half her face, and her arms were crossed as she was looking at the ground.
âIt was the Barbie I got for Christmas from Grandma Catherine,â Dory pouted, and she looked with tear filled brown eyes up at her two fathers.
âThe vintage one?â Dan prompted. Dory nodded, and her shoulders slumped a little.
âCâmon, letâs get some breakfast in you. Your Papa Bear is going to an important meeting at the YouTube office, and weâre driving you to school. Like usual. But I get to be here, and pick you up from school,â Phil outlined the plan for the day, as he took Doryâs shoulders and guided her through to the kitchen.
She allowed herself to be seated, and put both of her elbows on the table. Phil, gently pushed them off. She put her hands in her lap instead.
âDada!â She huffed. Whenever she was beyond angry that babyish word was uttered.
âI seem to remember a two year old of mine putting her Barbiesâ faces near our scented candles. The sprinklers came on, and it was a right mess,â Phil started, and turned his head to face her.
âI know. But I was two! Heâs thirteen,â Dory argued. She was the most laid back of them all.
The peacemaker. Michael was a bit hot headed, and yet he was always cracking jokes and things.
âHeâs also full of testosterone. Unfortunately Danâs predictions didnât come true and he didnât want to wear sparkly heels or a sparkling tutu,â Phil answered.
âWell at least he wasnât forced to identify himself,â Dory nodded.
âYouâll still have time to figure yourself out. You can do whatever you want. Within reason and no going to jail,â Phil said, placing a plate in front of his daughter.
Michael sauntered in a few moments later. Dory glanced up and gave a slight glare at her sibling.
âWhy did you destroy my priceless Barbie?â Dory bluntly asked, sounding a bit like Dan.
âIt was there, and the straightener was there, so I experimented,â Michael answered, as he dug into his own breakfast.
âStop teasing your sister,â Phil set down a third plate
. âSorry,â Michael said.
âYouâll have to replace it you know,â Dan came in straightening his tie, and leaning down a little, and over to kiss Philâs cheek.
âI will,â Michael said.
âWhatâs the important meeting about Papa Bear?â Dory asked.
Dan made a face, âAdult things.â
âEwwww,â Phil sympathised.
âWell youâre lucky they only wanted to see me about my content. I dunno why. I donât fuckinâ swear anymore. Which is a goddamned shame, because Iâm pretty damned good at swearing. Theyâre dumb asses sometimesâŚ.Kids, donât you ever repeat what I just said,â Dan wagged a finger at both of his and Philâs children.
âRepeat what?â Michael innocently asked.
âI didnât hear a thing,â Dory softly replied.
They finished their breakfasts, and hurried out the door.
âFirst things first, stay in school, eat the lunches, make friends, and no bullying,â Dan said as he white knuckled the steering wheel of their car, and tried to navigate London traffic.
âWe couldâve taken the Tube,â Michael piped up.
âDo you want to be in a cramped space and having weirdoes try to strike up a conversation with you? And wonder why the seats are so damp? My answer is âno you donâtâ,â Dan said, answering his own rhetorical question.
âWatch It Asshole! Learn How To Drive You Twat!â Dan yelled, his road rage rearing its ugly head.
âCalm down,â Phil tried to reassure his partner.
âDonât Tell Me To Fuckinâ Calm DownâŚ.â Dan retorted.
âYou know we couldâve hitched a ride with Uncle Martyn and Aunt Cornelia,â Michael interrupted again.
âTheyâre getting their flat ready for the new baby,â Phil said.
âOh yeah, I canât believe they adopted,â Dory answered.
âIâm gonna be the best uncle Ever!â Phil looked absolutely beatific, clasping his hands in front of him.
Meantime there was a Michael vs. Dory going on in the back seat.
âWatch it, Iâm gonna cream you,â Michael said through gritted teeth, as he moved his game about.
âItâs gonna be my victory!â Dory responded and she gritted her own teeth.
âWeâre neck and neck. Iâm about to toot you,â Dory said.
âDonât toot me, Iâm nearly up your butt,â Michael responded.
âPlease donât use those words,â Phil pleaded.
âItâs bad enough that we used those words before,â Dan shook his head and honked at another car that was daring to come into their lane.
âI win!â Dory raised her hands in victory.
âTomorrow you wonât be so lucky little sister,â Michael promised and punched her shoulder, in a playful way.
âOuch!â Dory punched him back.
âHey, hey, less being rough,â Phil intervened.
âAnd weâre at the school. Kiss-kiss, hug-hug. Stay in school. No being bullies, no being a smart-ass. Answer any questions the professors have for youâŚ.â Dan spouted as he unlocked the back door of the car, and the two put on their school backpacks.
âSo much for my social life,â Michael muttered.
He disliked school. He was always bored.
âI didnât know you had a social life,â Phil âinnocentlyâ said.
âWhatâs a social life?â Dan asked.
âBye kids!â Phil made the two give him a hug, and then their parents were gone.
âShit,â Michael muttered.
âDonât say that,â Dory went off to find her nerdy-geeky friends. Michael went to find his own group of friends.
Later that afternoonâŚ.
As the tweens waited for Phil to pick them up, Dory felt a bit uncomfortable, and sticky. Why? She hopped off the concrete step, and went into some bushes. Michael, who was playing video games, Â didnât even see her go.
She felt her trousers, which thank goodness, were black so they didnât show anything. She drew her fingers towards her face, and gasped. She was bleeding. She was just about to go back to waiting when their car pulled up and Phil honked the horn. She hurried out of the bushes, and slunk into the backseat. She took out her phone and messaged someone:
âText me back! Emergency! Dory.â She put her phone back in her pocket, and started answering her dadâs questions about school.
âHow was it today? Anything exciting happen?â Phil asked.
âNot really,â Michael answered.
âNo,â Dory responded, which was unusual because she was usually a lot happier about being in school.
âAre you okay Dory?â Phil asked, a worried frown on his face.
âIâm fine. I think. IâŚ.â She looked out the window not finishing her sentence.
âYouâre not coming down with anything are you? Iâll take your temperature when we get to our house,â Phil continued.
âDada,â Dory sighed, and crossed her arms.
âAlright I wonât pry anymore,â Phil promised.
Luckily when they got to the house, Dan had gotten a ride home and was waiting for them, wearing his usual black attire and his hair was in waves again.
âHi Papa,â both children gave Dan a hug, whilst Phil kissed Danâs cheek, and hugged him tightly.
âIâve got to go to my room,â Dory nearly fled the scene.
âWhatâs up with her?â Dan asked.
Their usually semi-social daughter was not acting like herself. Presently a few rapid knocks and a ringing of their doorbell sounded. Phil went to open it, and came face to face with Cornelia and Louise.
âWhereâs Dorothy Cate?â Louise asked. She had always called Dory, Dorothy Cate.
âIn her room?â Phil gave his almost sister in law and best friend a confused look after ushering them inside.
âGreat! Cornelia? You got the stuff?â Louise asked.
âRight here. Weâll see ourselves through,â Cornelia said.
âAlrightâŚ.â Philâs voice trailed off. âIâm notâŚ.Are you? Whatâs going on?â Phil trailed behind the other two most important women in his life.
Nobody would ever replace Catherine.
âItâs personal and I donât think youâd fully understand it,â Cornelia answered and lovingly pinched Philâs cheek.
âOw,â Phil rubbed his cheek still looking confused. The two knocked simultaneously on the door.
âDorothy Cate?â Louise asked.
âWeâre here Sweetie,â Corneliaâs soft voice penetrated the wooden door.
It opened a crack and a brown eye peeked out.
âAunty Nikki, Louie? Come on inside,â She opened it wider for the two women.
âWeâve got the things, and Louise promised to help me teach you,â Cornelia said, as she shut the door in Philâs face.
âWhat is going on?â Phil knocked on the door, and jiggled the knob, but it was locked.
âCome on you can tell me,â Phil pleaded.
Cornelia stuck her head out and gave Phil an epically sisterly glare. âUnless you know anything about the female body, up to and including what we have to go through every month, then Iâll let you in. Until then, go find your partner,â Cornelia pointed towards the lounge.
âIs she? Are you here because sheâŚ.sheâsâŚ.OhâŚ.Oh...Ohhhhh!!!!â Phil put two hands to his mouth and then backtracked and went into the lounge.
âWell so much for not telling him,â Louise sighed as the two turned their attention back to Dory.
âHoneyâŚ.â Cornelia wrapped her niece into a tight hug. Louise went about taking the sheets off the bed.
âWill it hurt any less as I grow up?â Dory asked through tear filled eyes.
âNo,â Louise bluntly said.
âUnless you get pregnant, and then it goes away for a while,â Louise amended.
âLike when Darcy was a baby?â Dory gulped.
âWell in a way,â Louise nodded.
âNow youâll have to do something for us. Can you get to the big bathroom? Weâve added instructions on the lid of the box,â Cornelia handed Dory a bright blue box.
âIâll try. What are these?â Dory asked, as she inspected the box.
âTampons,â the ladies said in unison.
âIâll come with you. Iâll guard the bathroom, so no pesky boy will get near you,â Cornelia said in a decisive voice.
âBesides youâve got to collect the clothes Corey,â Louise added.
âIâll need a new outfit?â Dory asked.
âYes indeed. Pick out your favorite item of clothing to wear and new pants,â Louise instructed.
âAnd a towel, youâll need a shower, or a bath if you prefer,â Cornelia said, taking her nieceâs hand and kissing the top of her head.
âCome on then. Louise have you got it from here?â Cornelia asked as she led Dory out of the door. âOf course I do. Iâll even make the others toe the line,â Louise promised. âSee that you do,â Corneliaâs parting words were almost swallowed by the closing of the door.
They were met by three silent males. All watching hers and Doryâs movements.
âWe need to talk Nikki,â Dan said, his mouth in a firm straight line.
âIn a moment. Iâm a bit busy,â Cornelia nudged Dory inside the bathroom.
Just then Louise bustled through with the linens. âOut of the way boys!â Louise barrelled right through the threesome.
âWhatâs all the fuss about?â Dan asked.
âPhilly didnât tell you?â Cornelia was guarding the door to the bathroom now, daring any of the males to approach.
âUm Auntie Nikki?â A tentative voice made Corneliaâs head swivel towards the door.
âYes my Sweet?â Cornelia answered.
âI-Is there supposed to be a string attached to this thing?â the young girlâs voice held a wobble.
âYes,â Cornelia said.
âString? Attached to what?â Dan said, as Phil nudged him excitedly and still covering his mouth.
âAnd itâs supposed to be wedged where?!â The horrified voice raised an octave.
âOH MY GOD!â Dan blurted out as he too covered his face.
âI said as much!â Phil answered Danâs unspoken thought.
âSheâs Too Young!â Dan said, and walked away.
âSheâs old enough,â Cornelia grumbled.
There were now sounds of a bath being run, and Cornelia sighed with relief when the door opened again, and a tiny hand gave her a bundle of clothes.
âYouâve got your towel, your pants, and your outfit?â Cornelia asked.
âYes,â the small voice answered again.
âThen get cleaned up and Louise and Iâll see to you properly,â
Cornelia instructed, as she went to the laundry room and met up with Louise. Once in the laundry room she spoke to Louise,
âSheâs running a bath now.â
âGood. Poor darling. I know both of those boys got pregnant, but theyâre still boys and ignorant of the ways of the period,â Louise shook her head.
âMale understanding goes so far. Even if youâre a drag queen or whatever,â Cornelia said.
âHeaven help us,â Louise looked up to the sky for help.
âWell, letâs make sure the boys are okay and theyâre not weeping into ice cream or something,â Cornelia said in  a decided voice.
The two women exited the room, and they found themselves in the kitchen. Dan and Phil were tapping away on their keyboards, and Michael was playing the âancient X-Boxâ.
âThere you see? All is right with the world,â Cornelia said.
âDo you two even have any ice cream?â Louise was pawing through the freezer.
The two men simultaneously looked up from what they were doing, and they nodded in unison.
âThatâs so creepy,â Louise humphed.
âSomething right out of âThe Shiningâ,â Cornelia added in.
âLook weâll exchange ice cream for news,â Dan wheedled.
âAnd weâll throw in the spoon and bowl for free,â Phil added.
âThat didnât make any sense,â Dan eyed Phil speculatively.
âYour daughter is going through a tough time right now. Sheâs experiencing cramps, bloating and bleedingâŚ.And if youâve not caught on by now, I give up!â Louise threw her hands into the air.
âWe know. We just wanted to see how far youâd get into your explanation before youâd give up,â Phil grinned cheekily at one of his best girl mates.
âYouâre a cheeky one arenât you?â Cornelia pinched Philâs cheek again.
Phil rolled his eyes and rubbed at it.
MeantimeâŚ.
Huddled in a corner of her room, a onesie on, Dory was contemplating life. She was shaken out of her reverie by an unsure knock on the door. Her father.
âDada?â She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
âItâs me,â Phil answered just as quietly.
She opened the door and Phil came inside. He found her in the Totoro onesie and he hugged her tightly against him.
âHow are you feeling?â Phil asked.
âCrummy,â Dory admitted.
He lifted her chin so that she was looking directly at him. To him, she would always be two years old. But the pain in her eyes wasnât something he could just kiss away this time. As a parent even he had limits.
âWhat you must be going through, I canât imagine. But Iâm here,â Phil tried.
âI know you are,â Her voice wobbled ever so slightly.
âAnd when it happens again, weâll be prepared next time,â Phil promised, and she hugged him this time, squeezing him. Not letting him go, and she started sobbing. Usually Dory wasnât one for sobbing uncontrollably, but Phil understood.
Even though he didnât have a biological sister, Cornelia had enlightened him, and there was that one biology class heâd been forced to take.
âYou have it much harder than I do; Iâll admit that, but youâre strong. Youâve got both the Howell genes and the Lester genes,â Phil said.
âI know Daddy. I know. But it hurts so bad,â Dory said.
âOh Sweet Pea...Letâs get some tea into you, and then weâll order pizza. Any kind. Howâs that sound? And Iâll scrounge up some chocolate for you. Or at least some hot cocoa,â Phil said, taking her hand in his, as if she were a toddler again.
âSounds good. Can we have pineapple on the top? You know half pineapple half pepperoni?â Dory asked.
âYeah,â Phil said. When they entered the dining room, Dory headed for Danâs now open arms.
âPapa Bear may we order some pizza?â Dory asked. âOf course we can,â Dan easily replied. She outlined what she wanted and Dan nodded. He went to the laptop and he put his order in.
A week later:
An impromptu dance session was going on in the kitchen. The laptop was blaring McFlyâs âLove Is Easyâ.
âIf this is love, then love completes meâŚ.â Dan stood at the cooker and he hummed under his breath, as his whole body swayed.
âItâs so simple, feels so natural to me,â Phil sang, as he tossed the spices at Dan who, miraculously, caught them in mid air, and added the spices to the skillet.
âIf this is love, love, love, itâs the easiest thing to do,â Phil continued and squeezed Danâs shoulder.
âCareful Philly, itâs hot!â Dan smiled up at Phil, who neatly dodged the spatula.
âA simple equation, and no complication to leave me confused,â Dan picked up the song. They sang it in bits and pieces, their smiles getting bigger and bigger, and then Phil took Danâs hand and they danced about the kitchen.
âToday Iâm laughinâ the clouds away,â Dan started.
âI hear what the flowers say, and drink every drop of rain,â Phil continued.
âMy side of the grass is green,â Dan grinned, and then he took Phil by the waist and pulled him closer. They were starting to kiss, when the teens walked in.
âGet a room!â Michael started.
âActually we have several rooms. Some of which havenât been christened in a while,â Dan wryly answered, looking over Philâs shoulder.
âStop kissing?â Michael asked.
âNever,â Dan retorted.
âWeâll just let you two get on with it,â Dory pulled Michael out of the kitchen.
âI am so turned on right now,â Dan whispered in Philâs ear.
âForget dinner?â Phil asked.
âFor us. But we have two responsibilities,â Dan wavered.
âTheyâre thirteen. They can fend for themselves,â Phil suggested and raised an eyebrow.
âWhat the hellâŚâ Dan turned off the cooker and yelled down the hall,
âFEND FOR YOURSELVES!!!! And Do Not Come Find Me Or Your Dad, At Least Not For A While!â
âCâmon Daniel,â Phil dragged Dan to their master bedroom.
âAfter all, I am a bottom,â Dan said.
âNo youâre not, thatâs something you fabricated one night, and you were slightly intoxicated,â Phil replied, as he opened the door, and pulled Dan inside.
âGod, Iâve missed you,â Dan said.
âIâve been sleeping with you for fifteen years, you nutter,â Phil said, as they started kissing again.
âShut Up!â Dan said, and they started to take each othersâ clothes off, and then Dan guided Phil to their bed, as they tripped over air, they refused to stop their makeout session.
âYouâre so hot!â Phil breathed.
âDid I say you could talk?â Dan asked.
âNope,â Phil acknowledged.
âThen do as youâre told for once!â Dan was mock exasperated.
âYes your majesty,â Phil grinned up at him. They started kissing with fervor.
Meantime in Doryâs room:
âTheyâre so gross!â Michael was cross legged on the ground face in his palm, arm on his leg.
âIt shows theyâve got a healthy relationship,â Dory said, as she turned on her laptop and perused Facebook. Adrian, who had come out of hiding and had a few followers of his own was almost always online. Much to Danâs chagrin, for Dan was very protective of his side of the family.
Philâs side didnât mind.
In fact, Martyn and Cornelia were thrilled to have followers as well. Even, nowadays, Catherine shared recipes on her Facebook account. Dory went to Skype.
Adrian was on, and she rang him via video. Â âHey Squirts,â Adrian waved at the camera.
âHey Uncle Adrian,â Dory greeted.
âHi Uncle Adrian,â Michael also greeted.
âSo what are you two up to?â Adrian asked, as he took a sip of water.
âNothing much. Weâre in sort of lock down,â Michael said.
âWhat? Why?â Adrian asked.
âOur dadsâŚ.â Doryâs voice trailed off.
âOh. Ugh! I donât want that image in my head!â Adrian made a disgusted face.
âWithout them thereâd be no us,â Dory smiled.
âThatâs just not something I want to think about my brother doing,â Adrian wrinkled his nose some more.
âSame,â Michael nodded.
âSo besides escaping your parents, whatâs been going on?â Adrian asked, as he leaned forward to better conversate with his niece and nephew.
âOh nothing much. Just canât wait until Iâm old enough to leave,â Michael shrugged.
âHeâs being modest! Dad and Papa put him in a gifted class. Heâs less bored there,â Dory chimed in.
âDorothy!â Michael said, and blushed.
âWell if you arenât going to tell him I am,â Dory crossed her arms, and looked like Phil for just a moment.
âSheâs told you,â Adrian laughed.
âShe tells me off all the time,â Michael grumped.
Dory rolled her eyes.
She was usually the more talkative of the two.
\
Most of the time. Michael was more withdrawn, he would talk, and he wouldnât totally abandon his friends and make them talk. He was more of the silent observant type until he got to know a person, and then he would talk. A bit.
âI just canât believe at their age theyâre still âgoing at itâ,â Michael said. âWhen itâs true love, it canât be stopped,â Adrian shrugged.
âLike you and Matilda?â Dory asked. âExactly! Sheâs a great woman, and frankly, Iâd most probably be lost without her,â Adrian shrugged. The trio talked for a long while.
A few weeks later:
âBLURGH!â Dan was in the bathroom again.
âThereâs nothing left to sick up,â Phil was at his side, and he caught a side glare from Dan.
âDonât you think I know that by now? Iâve been dry heaving for hours. This is ridiculous,â Dan huffed, and back down his head went.
âIf youâd just take another test, Iâm pretty sure itâd be solved,â Phil wheedled.
âIf you donât want a smack round the head, I suggest you finish whatever youâre doing and leave. And wake up Dory and Michael,â Dan said.
âBesides itâs just the flu,â he tried to convince himself.
âItâs not the flu,â Phil said, though he was gone to check on the kids.
He roused them, and went back to his and Danâs adjoining bathroom.
âSo did you take it yet? I left it on the counter,â Phil was leaned up against the door front, his feet crossed and his arms crossed, looking quite sternly at his life partner.
Dan was sat on top of the toiletâs seat. âYes,â Dan softly answered.
âWhat? I canât hear you,â Phil smiled.
âI said yes,â Dan said, and he looked up with a troubled expression.
âAnd?â Phil dodged and caught the test that Dan grumpily threw at him. He gave a half-smile and looked back at Dan.
âDo you want to keep it?â Phil asked. Dan bit his lip, and looked back down at his hands.
âWeâve got two teens,â Dan started.
âYeah and theyâre old enough to help us out,â Phil argued for keeping the baby.
âBut two teens are already eating us out of house and home,â Dan started again.
âThey donât eat that much,â Phil argued again.
âThey eat enough,â Dan said. âDaniel, and Iâm only gonna call you this once, Sweetheart, remember weâve got money. Weâve invested. Weâve been clever with our savings. Weâre not running out. We can afford three kids. If you want to that is. She, er I mean, it, this tiny person will be loved by all. Not just by me, but Iâm pretty sure by everyone,â Phil determinedly said.
âSpoiled rotten most likely,â Dan was softening.
âItâs been ages since weâve had a little one about the house, and perk, itâll only be one this time. Not two,â Phil pointed out.
âThatâll be nice. Two were justâŚâ Dan heaved a sigh, which retracted his stomach and he gasped for air.
Phil steadied him and guided him to the bedroom.
âIâll be the most supportive partner I can be,â Phil said.
âI know you will. Itâs justâŚâ Dan put on his thinking face.
âItâs been a long while, possibly since you were twenty-five, that youâve had an existential crisis; I wouldnât blame you if one happened now. Take all the time you need, Iâll talk to Doctor Taran and make an appointment,â Phil outlined, and kissed Danâs temple.
âOkay,â Dan whispered.
\
âIt wonât be so bad,â Phil said, as he pulled out his mobile.
âHaving kids is actually sort of rewarding in the long run,â Dan amended.
âTheyâre not eighteen yet,â Phil smiled.
âThatâs true. When they do turn eighteen weâll throw a big party,â Dan said.
âAfter naptime,â Phil answered.
âRight, because of the little one,â Dan put a protective hand over his stomach.
Phil followed suit, and kissed his significant otherâs hand.
âItâll be fine. You should know by now that I wonât leave you in the lurch. Youâre stuck with me,â Phil said, as Dan gave him a grateful smile.
He arranged for an âemergency sonogramâ, and found his way back to Dan.
âHow dâyou feel now?â Phil asked.
âA bit better I reckon,â Dan answered and slid closer next to Phil. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan, and put his head on the crook of Danâs neck, between where the shoulder blade met the head.
âItâll be fine,â Phil reassured again.
âHow are we gonna tell Dory and Michael?â Dan asked.
âThe same way we do with every big event that happens in our lives. An open and frank family meeting,â Phil answered.
âThen weâd better do it right now, before I need to go back into that room adjoining ours, and make a right mess of things,â Dan said.
âWot; now?â Phil asked, as his Northern accent escaped.
âYeah. Now,â Dan gave him raised eyebrows, which meant he meant business.
âAlright then,â Phil then went to find the kids. Dan was pacing, thinking about the supposed future outcome. They were almost in their forties, and by the time the kid reached eighteen, theyâd be fifty-eight, and fifty-four respectively.
Once the teens arrived Dan and Phil motioned for the two to sit. âMake yourselves comfortable,â Dan started and paced about the room.
âWe have some big news,â Dan continued.
âThis is it,â Michael mumbled.
âYouâre getting a divorce?â Dory put her hands over her mouth.
âWeâre not even legally married,â Dan stopped his pacing.
âAnd besides Iâd kick his butt if he tried to leave me,â Phil put in, a smirk on his face.
âItâs not official, and not yet confirmedâŚ.But, we think thereâs going to be another addition to the household,â Dan started.
âI think itâll be great,â Phil was all smiles.
âSays the one whoâs not carrying this time,â Dan huffed at him.
âBut we wonât know until tomorrow, with Doctor Taran,â Phil added.
âGreat talk. Go do whatever it was you were doing before you got called in here,â Dan shooed them out.
âIf you have any questionsâŚ.â Phil started, but the two were already out the door.
âI have a valid question, how the hell did we end up getting pregnant not once but three times?â Dan raised an ironic hand.
âLucky,â Phil said.
âI donât feel lucky. I feel like the universeâs out to get me,â Dan said. âItâs out to get us both,â Phil affirmed. âMoreso me than you,â Dan said.
The Next Day...Sonogram Time:
âYou know the drill, get up onto the table,â Doctor Taran directed with her pencil in one hand and her clipboard in the other. Besides having grown older by thirteen years, she was still the same. Same sensible bun, same scrubs.
She was just used to the men before her, by now.
âSo whatâs the gender this time?â She looked at Phil for confirmation.
âIâm not telling,â Phil held up his hands in a self defence motion.
âAlright then, Daniel, lift up your shirt,â Doctor Taran directed. Dan sighed, rolled his eyes and did as he was told.
âWow! Whatever sort of power you wield, I want it,â Phil cracked.
âSit down beside him you nutter,â Doctor Taran rolled her eyes.
âSheâs told you,â Dan put in.
âShut it you,â Doctor Taran spread the goop, and then the screen came to life.
âOh there we go. You were right,â Doctor Taran nodded and jotted something down on her clipboard.
âThird timeâs the charm?â Phil guessed.
âWhat? Youâre saying our older two arenât valid human beings?â Dan groused.
âHey Mr. Grumpy, I didnât say anything of the kind,â Phil countered.
âOh look at you. Always with the domestic arguments,â Doctor Taran nodded.
âLook at her! Even as a blob sheâs a cutie,â Phil breathed out, as he put both of his hands to his mouth, palms open.
âSpoilers!!â Dan complained.
âIâm sorry! I have this inane gift that I automatically know the genders. Itâs not my fault!â Phil answered.
âIt is. You know how I am about spoilers. I thought for once that I could be surprised,â Dan frowned.
âI mean, I said âsheâ, I was probably assigning genders again. That was my fault,â Phil backtracked.
âThatâs a bit better,â Dan acquiesced, and they kissed quickly.
âYou twoâŚ.Daniel wipe yourself off, and get the heck out of my office. Go on. Shoo!â Doctor Taran broke up their little tiny argument.
The guys did as they were told. They took the Tube back home, and once at their place, they decided to have another family meeting.
In the Family Meeting and afterwards:
âYes weâre having another kid. But youâre not going to know the gender, your dad knows; but heâs sworn to secrecy,â Dan said, and looked Phil up and down with squinted eyes, and a âVâ going from his eyes to Phil and back again.
âMy lips are sealed. No amount of torture will ever get me to reveal it. Not even tickling!â Phil declared.
âAnother kid. Thatâs just great, thatâs all we need around here,â Michael murmured, his arms crossed.
âI think itâll be nice. Iâll be an older sister. I can mold their mind, and teach them the ways of being a younger sibling,â Dory breathed out. Phil clapped her on the back.
âParentsâ pet,â Michael said.
âWell now that thatâs out of the wayâŚ. You two go and do your homework,â Phil prompted.
âLet your papa rest,â Phil continued. Dan was looking as pale as Phil with a hint of green around the edges.
âI do feel a bit funny,â Dan put a hand to his mouth.
âAlright to the bathroom you go,â Phil said, as the kids left the room.
Dan just waved him off as he disappeared back to the porcelain shrine. Phil followed and knelt beside him.
âIâd pull back your hair, but thatâs a futile effortâŚâ Phil decided to sit on the bathtub instead, becoming moral support. Dan raised a certain finger in the air, aimed at his significant other.
 âThank you,â Phil said in an unfazed tone.
âAsshole,â Dan muttered, as he finally stood and wiped his mouth off with a piece of toilet roll.
He also proceeded to brush his teeth, and popped in a mint.
âUgh! How could you stand the morning sickness with Dory? I feel woozy, and my stomach is swirling aboutâŚ.â Dan managed to make it back to the bed, and was lying on his side.
âI dealt with it, and had to remind myself who I was carrying. Some days I had to remind myself that I loved her very much,â Phil responded, lying on his own side and facing Dan; his hands under one cheek, and smiling encouragingly at him.
âI know about morning sickness. So Iâll help you in any way I can,â Phil said.
Two months later:
âTwo and a half months, and Iâm still not showing. Whereâs my pudge?â Dan poked at his stomach.
âSome babies develop differently. Donât poke too much, youâll give yourself a stomachache,â Phil said, handing Dan some ginger ale.
âThanks,â Dan sipped it from a straw.
âWant some savoury biscuits?â Phil asked.
âDâyou know that in America theyâre called âcrackersâ?â Dan bit off a corner.
âI did not know that,â Phil looked thoughtful.
âWell now you do. Are we doing solo videos this week or together ones?â Dan asked, his hands poised above the keyboard, he was in his usual crease, hunched over the laptop ever so slightly. So what if everything was holograms now? Sometimes laptops were the best pieces of equipment.
Try and drag him out of the early to later â00s so quickly. Let him have his habits.
âPretty soon youâll have something to rest your ancient laptop on. Just be thankful that we havenât announced our newest bundle of joy yet,â Phil said.
âThen thereâd be questions, haters, and people who are so creepy that you just want to crawl under the covers and hide,â Dan mused again, as he started typing.
âSolo ones, but then at the end of the week, weâll collaborate as usual. They want to see Dory and Michael,â Phil nodded, as he leaned over and kissed Danâs cheek.
âAlright then. Whoâs first? Â Weâve still got the one recording camera. Why donât we just splurge for a new one?â Dan asked.
âBecause theyâre becoming rare and expensive,â Phil was all about being frugal. Eight pounds was too much for him to spend, while Dan had sort of expensive tastes.
Top Man was his favorite online store.
âItâs Thursday. I said Iâd do one on Sunday, but Dory had her dance recital,â Phil said.
âAnd of course Michael is in drama class. Do you have a feeling theyâre pretty much the carbon copies of us when we were younger?â Dan asked.
âIn Michael? Yeah. But I envy Doryâs grace when she dances. I look like a hunchback when I dance, and I make weird faces,â Phil sighed and shrugged.
âLetâs just get the announcement out of the way,â Dan suggested.
âLook whoâs the non-procrastinator now,â Phil smiled indulgently at Dan.
âYeah-yeah,â Dan waved him off.
âWant to do it now?â Phil asked.
âLetâs wait a couple of weeks. I want to see if the baby will get longer. I want to wait until Iâm showing just a bit,â Dan decided.
âAlright whatever you want. Iâm going to go record. Need any snacks whilst Iâm up?â Phil asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
âIâve got savories, Iâve got ginger ale. Iâm fine. Leave the bottle out. Iâll probably pour some more into the glass,â Dan answered.
âOkay,â Phil nodded and he went out of the room. They still did private videos. Except they stayed out of their room until the other was finished. Even Michael and Dory knew not to interrupt. âHey Guys!â Phil waved excitedly at the camera.
Two and a half weeks later:
âThere we go, itâs a tiny pocketâŚ.I feel feetâŚ.OMG! Iâm going to cry,â Dan said, and wiped a tear from his eye.
âWell it looks as if theyâre finally longer. Ready for the big A?â Phil asked.
âBig A? Are you talking about my ass?â Dan looked behind him as far as he could.
âThe big Announcement,â Phil said in an excited tone, he was practically jumping up and down on the sofa cushion.
âAs ready as Iâll ever be,â Dan sighed.
âHere we goâŚ.â Phil turned on YouNow. They both took a deep breath.
âHey Guys! Hello,â Dan and Phil said at the same time.
âIf you havenât read the title, then youâll be pleased to know we haveâŚ.Drum roll pleaseâŚ.Good News!â Phil said, as he put his fists to his mouth smiling broadly.
âMichael and Dory already know,â Dan answered.
âThe reason theyâre not here is because theyâre still in school,â Phil answered a question.
âSo weâve got baby number three on the way,â Dan plunged right in.
âWay to take the surprise right out of it. I was going to tease them for a bit,â Phil pouted.
âWe can do that for the next surprise, tease the hell out of them,â Dan answered, patting Philâs knee.
âPhilâs the only one who knows the gender, but heâs under strict orders not to give it up. On Pain of Death!â Dan glared over at Phil, who held up his hands in a surrender gesture.
âMy lips are sealed. Until sh...the babyâs born!â Phil squeaked out.
Dan reached over and slapped his shoulder. Hard. âI told you to shut up,â Dan said in a semi-joking way.
âAlright. Alright. Moving on. Top fan isâŚ.â Phil read the top fans off. âYou win a gold sticker. You win a puppyâŚ.You win mismatched socksâŚ.â Phil was giving out weird gifts again.
âAn octopus,â Dan decided.
âOh good one!â Phil smiled.
An hour laterâŚ. âWell guys we have to feed Michael and Dory. See you later!â Dan said.
âBye Guys!â Phil said, covering the camera with his hands. They signed out.
âOh godâŚ.Iâm breathlessâŚ.Whew!â Dan breathed out.
âToo much? I knew we shouldnât have stressed you out,â Phil worried.
âIâm okay Phil. Itâs just nerve wracking as usual, but adding the pregnancy into the mix makes it doubly hard,â Dan tried to sound reassuring.
âAnyway weâve done it, you rest up. Iâll go putter for a bit,â Phil decided.
âOkay,â Dan went to the bedroom.
Thatâs how Phil knew he wasnât feeling well when he was submissive.
âI hope the little one doesnât come too early. We donât need stress right now,â Phil said under his breath. He made dinner, fed Michael and Dory, and then he brought in a plate for Dan.
A few weeks later another doctorâs appointment:
âWell the babyâs developing normally. Heartbeatâs regular, and any new developments?â Doctor Taran looked down at her clipboard, seeming to tick off boxes.
âIâve got massive morning sickness. Itâs moved to the afternoon,â Dan frowned.
âThatâs normal,â Doctor Taran nodded.
âI had it last time, now itâs his turn,â Phil nearly gloated.
âDonât gloat,â Doctor Taran and Dan said at the same time.
âAlright, things are good to go,â Doctor Taran decided, and handed Dan some tissues.
âGo on then. Get out of my sight,â Doctor Taran shooed them out.
âAny hint on gender?â Doctor Taran whispered to Phil. Phil rolled his eyes.
âIâll hit him if he tells,â Dan said.
âWhy do you always seem to be able to hear my private convos with Doctor Taran?â Phil cheekily asked.
âBecause Iâm a nosey twit,â Dan replied, as he pulled on his âNarutoâ jacket. Phil rolled his eyes and they drove home.
Third month:
âIf I puke any more, Iâll go insane,â Dan said.
âIâm worried. You should be over it by now,â Phil said.
âWell, youâre the one who said that, âbabies develop differentlyâ. What if  Iâm carrying the devilâs spawn and itâs all your fault?â Dan questioned. He questioned everything in life.
âWhy would the devil impregnate you? Youâre a lowly YouTuber,â Phil tried to lighten the mood, and ended up ducking the shower gel that flew at his head.
âIâm pretty sure you made a midnight deal with Satan,â Dan said.
âThat was ages ago!â Phil protested, as he put the shower gel out of reach.
âDamn you and your rituals,â Dan said, as he made his way to the sink and brushed his teeth.
âSorry, Iâve learnt my lesson,â Phil said.
âI hope to whatever, that Iâm over this soon. Have you made any headway on the nursery? Weâre keeping it yellow, but I want it changed up a bit. And it needs to be repainted,â Dan outlined his plan for the space.
âIâll repaint it later this week, you can supervise,â Phil promised.
âI like supervising. Do we need to build the wardrobe?â Dan asked.
âNo, Iâm not letting you near a wardrobe, youâd probably, sick up something on it,â Phil said.
Dan gave him a hard glare. âIâm not a delicate fainting maiden,â Dan said, quoting something from one of their gaming videos.
âI didnât say you were. I just donât think you should move about too much until youâre past the morning sickness stage. If you ever get past it. Some people never get past that stagâŚ.â He was interrupted by a hand over his mouth.
âYeah. Thank you, Iâm pretty sure Iâll get past it at some point,â Dan said, as Phil mumbled against his hand.
Dan removed the hand, and they resumed their ideas on the space.
âYou know Doctor Taran says thereâs a procedure that will stop us from having kids,â Phil ventured.
âI know. But itâs risky,â Dan said.
âSheâs performed it before,â Phil said.
âAs much as I trust her, and I do trust herâŚ.I donât know,â Dan said.
âBecause maybe this is the end, and maybe our bodies will just know and shut âit�� off?â Phil ventured again.
âLet me think about it. You know Iâll have to be cut open again. Although the scars are fabulous, and worth it, I just donât want to have to keep getting cut open. But for now, let us get through thisâŚ.â Dan gestured.
Month 4:
âFinally I can eat toast again,â Dan had found a nice recipe for French Toast, and though Phil didnât really like the egg mixture, he had added the cinnamon into it for a âdash of flavourâ, he had to admit that french toast wasnât so bad.
âSyrup or that fancy sugar, not the granulated kind but the other kind,â Dan said, as he finished.
âYeah, itâs a filling breakfast,â Phil conceded.
âIsnât though? The berries top it off just so,â Dan said.
âDefinitely,â Phil replied. The teens werenât awake just yet, as it was Saturday and they were allowed to sleep in.
âYou know we havenât played Sims-4 in a while,â Phil commented.
âRight, and since Dilâs had the baby, its mystical powers have been unequalled,â Dan answered.
âWell Evan and Dab bonded over it,â Phil said.
âAnd I think it gave them a wealth of knowledge,â Dan said.
âWell Dab stopped needing to do homework. Glad you convinced me to keep it,â Phil smiled.
âLike you convinced me with this one?â Dan indicated with an eyebrow raise.
âI did no such thing,â Phil looked mock offended.
âAnyway, to answer your weird train of thought, weâll play Sims4,â Dan said. âYay,â Phil grinned.
Video wrapped and in the midst of being edited:
âLooking back on the saga of Dil, Tabs, Dab, and the Pancakes, this has been a pretty fun series.
âNobodyâs died, alien abductions have been  a rare occurrence. Dilâs still a bit of a flop sometimes,â Phil nodded.
âAnd weâre still getting enjoyment out of being, âmasters of a universe,â Dan replied.
âI mean raising kids is like raising Sims,â Phil nodded.
âSaid nobody ever,â Dan retorted.
âThink about it for a minute, follow my train of thought. They have their own languages, their own way to dress, theyâre sentient yes, but we have to guide them through their lives. And when theyâre old enough, we send them off to University and hope for the best, but they always come back home. At least for a visit. And they fall in love, they get married, and the cycle of life continues,â Phil started.
âYou thought really long and hard about this statement didnât you?â Dan raised an eyebrow at Phil.
âI guess so. But thatâs just how my brain works,â Phil lightly responded.
âYouâve got a strange mind my friend,â Dan said.
âIn a way so do you,â Phil was unapologetic.
âBeing around you has made me extra weird,â Dan shrugged.
âAnd?â Phil asked.
âThereâs nothing to add,â Dan said. Phil pursed his lips and shook his head, then it was fully silent, as they slow kissed each other, and held onto each other. Then the teens showed up from schoolâŚ.
Month 5:
âOof!â Dan righted himself as he hobbled towards the adjoining bathroom.
âBaby, youâd better be worth it,â Dan muttered to himself. Â
âThis kicking me in the bladder isnât gonna go any easier on me for the next four months is it?â Dan asked, as he did what he was supposed to do, and his stomach started rumbling.
âGreat, more bladder hockey, and now you want me to feed you? I reckon,â Dan mumbled.
He sauntered out into the kitchen.
âFuck,â Dan hissed under his breath.
It was only nine in the morning. Not even Phil was awake this early. Usually they met in the kitchen around midday, except when it was a school day. Which it was not.
âItâs not even a school day,â Dan sighed, but he adhered to the rumblings and went in for some cereal.
âI actually have some cereal?â Dan peered into the box.
âI made me some toast and orange marmalade. I think. I dreamt I made it. I mightâve made it earlier then dreamt that I made it again. I donât know, I wasnât nearly awake this morning,â Phil tripped into the kitchen and poured some coffee into his mug.
âWhat time?â Dan asked, as he swallowed another spoonful of cereal.
âI think it was four,â Phil replied. âHuh. Okay. Your brainâs weird,â Dan said. Â âJust like the rest of me,â Phil conceded. Dan finished his bowl, and he padded to the lounge. Time for some social media.
Month six:
âTime is...Ticking away, tick tick ticking awayâŚ.â Dan hummed under his breath; he was resting his laptop on his protruding stomach and trying to read the screen.
âIf this is love love love,â another voice said from beside him.
âThatâs not even the same song,â Dan huffed out.
âI think it goes well,â Phil said, and put a hand on Danâs stomach.
âDonât! Youâll upset it,â Dan said.
âWhatâll I upset? The baby or the laptop?â His boyfriend looked genuinely confused.
âYes,â Dan said.
âOh,â Phil put his hand on Danâs knee.
âThank you, important business,â Dan said, and settled against the mountain of pillows behind him.
âStomachâs rumbling. What time is it?â Dan looked at his laptopâs screen again.
âOne forty-five,â he nodded.
âFood time?â Phil was sat up again.
âFood time,â Dan answered.
âIâll get one of the slavesâŚ.er one of the kids to whip something up,â Phil said.
âOr ask them,â Dan suggested
. âAlright then,â Phil said, and exited the room. In an hour and a half, Dan was feasting on sandwiches, crisps, and some Ribena, and water.
âGotta stay hydrated,â Three voices said as they presented him with the sumptuous array of food. Dan looked at his little family.
Times like these, he was actually happy to have them all milling about. He was happy that Michael and Dory were becoming well adjusted adults, and curious about his and Philâs âfamily businessâ. Michael especially seemed keen on learning about editing and making videos. Dory seemed to be a more of  the âbehind the scenesâ person, but was also learning how to make quality video content and editing whenever necessary.
âThanks,â Dan addressed the family and took a few bites.
They left him to it. He opened his laptop and perused the media.
âWeâre lucky,â Dan said more to himself and the duvet then to anything outside of those perimeters.
âYeah we are pretty lucky,â the bed dipped as Phil sat on the foot of it.
âHowâd you hear me?â Dan asked.
âIâm stealthy. Like a ninja,â Phil said.
âOh yeah. Totally like a ninja, you surprise your enemies, and scare the hell out of your ânearly-husbandâ and children,â Dan retorted.
âThis oneâs going to be our last,â Dan continued in a decisive tone.
âDoes that mean surgery for the both of us? Doctor Taran said it was a risky procedure,â Phil looked worried behind his glasses.
He had forgotten to get more contacts, plus he was due for an eye exam anyway. So he just whacked on his glasses. To be honest he looked hellâa cute in his glasses. Dan licked his lips and pushed the laptop slightly out of the way.
âWe havenât had proper sex in a while, and Iâm feeling, well Iâve got that feeling,â Dan tried to sound sensual and ended up sounding like a Grade A flop.
âHormones,â Phil tried to look annoyed as he looked up at the ceiling.
âDamn right. Take your glasses off, lock the door, and letâs make the bed all messyâŚ.I wanna do itâŚ.Sims style,â Dan answered.
âIf I take my glasses off first, Iâll be too blind to see the lock on the door,â Phil said, but he had gotten off the bed, and locked it.
âNo interruptions,â Phil said.
âGood. Get your ass over here,â Dan had deposited the laptop a safe distance away.
Phil fell on top of Dan and the two feverishly made out, the clothes mysteriously disappeared, and soon, the duvet was moved down all the way to the foot of the bed. Phil had put his glasses on top of the laptop, so they wouldnât get crushed.
âGod I love you,â Dan breathed out.
âI love you too,â Phil wrapped his arms around Danâs body, admiring the bump.
âYouâre just the right amount,â Dan breathed out again.
âWhatever that meansâŚ.â Philâs voice trailed off.
âShut up,â Dan ordered. And so it happenedâŚ.
AfterwardsâŚ.
Both were wrapped in a tight embrace, quite moist, but neither were complaining about it.
Though they couldnât get too close, but it was fine. They had explored every inch of their bodies. Each admiring every scar, every new bruise, every cut that had happened. The romance was still certainly alive, underneath the bantering, the pseudo arguing, and the few times theyâd actually gotten angry or tired of each other. As it happened, even âlong datingâ couples needed their space.
But it was a rare occurrence for them. They barely argued, and when they did it wasnât for very long. Theyâd always end up Skyping, or Facetiming. They were never far apart. Had never been. Ever since Dan had confessed, and Phil had been shocked, but he too had admitted to it. They had made sure that they were ready. They hadnât rushed into it.
Being best friends first, theyâd had to plan everything out. And itâd worked.
âTwenty-one years, youâd think weâd get tired of having this,â Phil muttered.
âYouâd think so, but every time we do this, I find something new and exciting,â Dan answered, kissing the little dip in Philâs neck.
Phil gave him a half smile and pushed Danâs curls back.
âSame,â Phil simply answered.
âStop playing with the hair, itâs too moist,â Dan shook his head, and a few beads of moisture landed on Philâs neck. Phil made a face and took a tissue from the bedside table and wiped his neck off.
âSorry,â Dan said, and kissed Philâs nape.
Phil returned the favour, nibbling on Danâs earlobe. They went back to just making out.
The baby decided at this moment to give a gentle kick, when they had no distance between them.
âOhhh, the baby wants us to acknowledge its presence,â Phil said, and put a soft hand on Danâs stomach.
âJealous little twat,â Dan smiled, and also looked at his stomach, slowly they made eye contact with each other.
âSpoiled is the word I think youâre looking for,â Phil corrected.
âAnd loved. Exceptionally loved. I have a feeling that Dory and Michael will be the surrogate parents, especially Dory, I have a feeling sheâll take on the âmumâ role. I mean I wonât assign her to it. I donât know. I justâŚ.Have this feeling. You know?â Dan said.
âI always know what youâre saying, or trying to say,â Phil nodded, and smiled, as they both looked deeply into each otherâs eyes.
Month 7:
âUGH!â Dan flopped his head back onto the pillows mounted behind his back and head. He gritted his teeth. âI canât Move!â He pushed himself up onto his elbows and tried to maneuver a bit.
âHeh, hah, eeeâŚ.Nope! Phil?â Dan reached over and shook Philâs shoulder.
âWhat is it?â Phil asked.
âI need to move, and I canât,â Dan said.
âWhy do you want to move?â Phil sleepily asked.
âBecause I need to wee,â Dan said, and punched Philâs shoulder to wake him up some more.
âOh,â Phil stood and then went to Danâs side of the of the bed and held out his hand, which Dan took and they headed to the loo.
âHow many more months? Sixteen?â Dan groused.
âTwo,â Phil yawned.
âOnly two? I feel like Iâve been pregnant for twelve years,â Dan sighed, and then he looked at his joggers and back at Phil.
âWell?â Dan said.
âOh! Iâm sorry,â Phil helped Dan remove his trousers.
âThank you,â Dan said, and Phil turned his back, and waited.
A few hours laterâŚ.
âSHIT! FUCK! DAMN! PHIIILLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â Dan called out.
âWHAT?! Iâm in the same room as you. Maybe I should get you a bell to ring,â Phil mused, as he walked over to Danâs side of the bed.
âA bell? Youâd really let me ring a bell?â Dan looked pleased with the prospect.
âHell no,â Phil wrinkled his nose.
âFine, I need to wee again, and then you can help me into my Browsing Position,â Dan emphasised the last two words.
âOf course âWinnieâ,â Phil said, and they went towards the loo again.
âOne day I wonât be so fat,â Dan said.
âYouâre not fat. Youâre carrying a kid. Thereâs a big difference,â Phil said, and rubbed Danâs shoulder.
âHelp me?â Dan asked, and he sounded plaintive, almost younger.
âYouâre slipping back into your eighteen year old voice.
âWell Iâm sorry, itâs been thirteen and a half years since I was pregnant. Itâs hard,â Dan muttered.
âI know, and itâs hard seeing you like this. But trust me, the end result is well worth it,â Phil tried to soothe.
âShut up,â Dan sighed.
âSorry Babe,â Phil said, and turned his back for Dan to have privacy.
âShit, I canât even stand,â Dan squatted.
âEw,â Phil said. âNo comments from the peanut gallery,â Dan ordered.
âSorry,â Phil sighed, and he zipped his lips. Finally they climbed back into bed.
ThenâŚ.
âWeâre Late! Open Up!â There was frantic knocking on the door.
âShit!â Dan yelped.
âOMG!â Phil covered his mouth with his palms. âShoot, shoot, shoot, Iâm coming, Iâm cominâŚ.OUCH!â Phil tripped over trying to put on his jeans.
âAre you okay?!â Dan said.
âIâm fineâŚ.Iâm almost ready!â Phil answered Danâs question, and tried to appease the two teens outside their door.
âOkay, get me the keys and weâre off,â Phil said to the door again.
He leaned over and kissed Dan, and then the baby bump.
âIâll be back in a bit!â Phil called over his shoulder and then he was gone. Dan sighed and reached for the laptop that was always in reach.
He opened it up to Word, and typed: âI Can Not Wait For This Kid To Come Out!â
Month 8:
âIâm a blimp! I waddle! I hate LIFE!â Dan gritted his teeth and tried to stand up away from the sofa, he wobbled, and then futilely grasped for the sofa arm, and fell to his knees. âPHILIP MICHAEL LESTERRRR!!!!â
âDaniel James Howell, almost Lester!! I told you to Stay Put! Which part didnât you understand? I said Iâd make a light lunch, and then come back and get you,â Phil sighed, and pulled Dan up with minimal effort.
âOw! For fuckâs sake,â Dan muttered.
âStop mumbling,â Phil implored, and ducked a slap to his head.
âHey now!â Phil gently led him to the dining room.
âI am not weak!â Dan gritted out.
âOf course youâre not weak. Youâre the strongest human being I know,â Phil soothed.
âI will so crack this pepper pot over your hench head!â Dan gritted his teeth.
âYou wouldnât dare!â Phil wryly said.
âTry me,â Dan answered in kind and picked up the pepper pot.
âHey!â Phil put up a palm in surrender.
âOkay, Okay, I wonât rescue you anymore. You just try and stand by yourself. You try and go to the loo solo. Iâm just going to stand idly by and raise our teens by myself,â Phil cracked.
âJust because Iâm bigger than London itself does not mean you can make me feel bad about being an absentee parent. Iâm incubating life here!â Dan put down the pot, and pointed at his protruding stomach.
âNinny,â Phil said.
âIâm not even going to acknowledge what you just said about me,â Dan said.
âWell hereâs lunch. Enjoy,â Phil tried to make an effort.
âHow many more months?â Dan asked.
âOne and a half, give or take a few weeks,â Phil was starting to have flashbacks to when he was pregnant with Dory and she was overdue by a month and a half.
âI just hope you go into labour on your due date and arenât late,â Phil muttered.
âI hope so too,â Dan answered, and patted Philâs hand encouragingly.
âYouâre a nutter,â Phil said.
âI know, but you kinda made me this way,â Dan answered.
âYouâre also my number one stalker,â Phil said.
âI am Number One Phil Trash !â Dan said, and put a pointer finger to the air.
âYouâre incorrigible. Itâs a good job youâre cute,â Phil said.
âIâm handsome. Youâre the cute one,â Dan answered.
âActually Iâm still the âball of sunshineâ,â Phil said and tucked in.
âAss,â Dan smiled.
âMmmm only to you,â Phil said.
Month 9:
Middle of the day:
Dan was puttering about the kitchen. The kids were in school, and Phil had to go to a meeting. Heâd been worried about leaving Dan, but it was an important meeting. One that had to be handled that day. âIâll be fine,â heâd said.
Phil had crinkled his brows in a worried way. âIf youâre sure? You call me the minute you go into labour,â Phil instructed, kissing him on the way out.
âIâll be fine,â Dan answered to Philâs disappearing back.
âIâm just fine. Weâre just fine; arenât we little one?â Dan asked to his stomach.
Then when heâd felt the kick, he smiled and had scrounged up something to eat. But something wasnât right. And then he felt it. He rang Philâs mobile. It went directly to voicemail.
He texted, â999â then he forcefully slammed the phone on the table and doubled over. He made his way to a chair and panted hard. This wasnât good. He tried to do some breathing exercises.
âOkay lamaze class that I went to one time, come and refresh my brain particlesâŚ.Brain particles? What the actual fuck did I just say? Whatever just refresh my memory. Breathe out and then in? Or the other way round? I donât fuckinâ know! Jesus fruckinâ poop on fookin poop shit,â He bit out.
âIâm fine! Iâm good. This is norâŚ.Mal!â Just then there were pounding footsteps and Phil was by his side.
âI cut the meeting short! Is it finally time?â Phil caught his breath as Dan feebly nodded.
âThought so. I called the ambulance, I hope they get here fast,â Philâs words rushed out in a torrent. âI hope so toooooâŚ.FUCKINâ ASSHOLE OF A STOMACH! GET ME SOMEWHERE COMFY!â Dan painfully yelled.
Phil led him to the sofa. âI called Susan and my mum,â Phil spoke softly.
âWhat for?â Dan asked.
âTo pick up Dory and Michael,â Phil answered.
âOh. Yeah,â Dan ground his teeth.
âYour dentistâs gonna be so angry at you,â Phil worried.
âForget my fuckinâ dentist!â Dan said, just as the ambulance arrived.
They arrived at the hospital in record time. This time Dan didnât mind the pain, didnât get squeamish when he was opened up like a side of beef again. He knew it would be worth it. âDo you want to know the gender now?â Doctor Taran asked.
âSure,â Dan said through hazy pain.
âLet me present your daughter,â Doctor Taran answered and laid the baby down on Danâs chest.
âCut the cord Lester,â Doctor Taran commanded.
âYep,â Phil said, and did as was required.
âSheâsâŚ.Beautiful,â Dan whispered. The baby had red and brown hair mixed, making natural highlights in her hair.
âWouldnât it be really remarkable if she had one tri-coloured eye and one brown eye? Itâs hereditary. But it only happens in the females on my side of the family,â Phil mused, as he stroked the babyâs head.
She opened her eyes and blinked up at the two men in her life.
âWelcome to the world Baby,â Dan whispered as he kissed her cheek.
She cooed and then, when she realized where she was, she let out a cry.
âOh good her lungs are working. Letâs get her cleaned up shall we?â Doctor Taran said, taking the baby.
âWeâll just stay here and hash out names,â Phil said, turning to Dan, after theyâd sewn him back up.
âIâm stuck for names,â Dan protested.
âI was thinking, and Iâve had nine plus months to think about it. Plus I saw it on a baby website, and if you agree, then I think itâd be just the name for her,â Phil said.
âWell? Go on,â Dan prodded.
âFiona Blyss. Blyss because sheâll really make us happier just by adding her little soul to the world, and doing god knows what, and Fiona. Not only for Shrek, but because itâs like a warriorâs name. If sheâd been a boy I wouldâve wanted to call her Thor Philip,â Phil answered.
âItâs fuckinâ lucky she turned out not to be a Thor. Although Iâm not against Diana for Wonder Woman,â Dan answered.
âThor Philip Lester-Howell. Think about it,â Phil said.
âWeâll call our dog Thor. If we ever get one,â Dan said.
âYay!â Phil said. Dan rolled his eyes and puckered his lips. They shared a celebratory kiss, and then the swaddled baby somehow ended up in Philâs arms whilst they rolled Dan to a recovery room.
âI love her so much,â Dan said through the drug filled haze he was now overcome with.
âWe all love her,â Phil reminded him.
âI know, butâŚ.Now my tummyâs still pudgy but empty, and I donât know what to do now,â Dan yawned.
âTry and sleep,â Phil suggested.
âMake sure she doesnât get abducted,â Dan yawned again.
âIâll defend her from everything, even malicious aliens,â Phil promised.
âThanks Phil,â Dan answered and fell asleep.
âWell Kiddo, guess itâs just you and me,â Phil said, and bounced her a bit.
âYouâre now stuck with us. For life,â Phil clarified. Fiona just blinked at him and yawned.
âI guess it has been a big day for you,â Phil conceded and put her in the plastic cot next to Dan. Phil leaned his head against the top of the chair and dozed off, until it was time to tell the birth certificate person all the details. Then they put Fionaâs footprints on the end of the certificate. And it was official. The Lester-Howell clan was complete.
A week laterâŚ.
Dan was fully recovered and had scheduled his âother surgeryâ five months ahead. He wanted to be fully healed, and besides Phil had cleared their diaries. The nurse wheeled him to the entrance of the hospital, and Phil pulled up in their van. He got out and jogged to the entrance, helping the nurse push the wheelchair. Dan was still stiff, and Phil helped him inside.
When he was buckled in, Dan looked in the rearview mirror. âThey all came?â Dan asked, as he looked at Dory who gave him a smile and blew him a kiss.
Michael, who just waved and went back to his film, and little Fiona who was sound asleep.
âSheâs been cranky,â Phil admitted.
âWe didnât really have much time to bond. It took me a few more days than last time to recover from the C-Section,â Dan answered.
âI know, but Dory and Michael have been helping out quite a lot. And you were right. Doryâs been fussing over her like a tiny mum. Itâs so cute to watch,â Phil said.
âI had an inkling,â Dan answered as they headed for home.
âAnd the bedâs been big and empty. I couldnât sleep without you, which is lucky because the babyâs been up all night too. I donât mind. She likes it when I sing random songs to her,â Phil kept the chatter up, and Dan nodded and answered at every pause.
It was nice to be going home, back to a routine. Introducing little Ona to the world. Heâd decided on her nickname.
âI was thinking of a nickname for the baby,â Dan said as Phil seemed to pause for a few breaths.
âYeah? Me too,â Phil replied.
âOn the count of threeâŚ.â Dan started.
âFi!â Phil said, just as Dan said, âOna!â
âBoth are really cool nicknames,â Phil conceded.
âWell you can call her âFiâ and Iâll call her âOnaâ,â Dan said.
âThanks Dan for not saying my name for her was stupid,â Phil said.
âCos it isnât,â Dan said, as they pulled into the driveway.
They settled the baby back into her cot, and the older ones disappeared upstairs and into the library. Dan and Phil were alone.
âInternet! How Iâve missed thee,â Dan said and hugged his laptop, just as Phil came in with his ancient device.
âOh, I see how it is. You didnât miss me at all?â Phil sat beside him, and plugged in to a socket.
They turned on the devices and soon Dan was announcing the babyâs arrival and statistics onto Twitter. Phil added in his congratulations and of course the Phandom went wild with Congratulations and happy vibes.
âWe need to do a collab, A.S.A.P,â Phil said, turning to Dan.
âI know, we will,â Dan promised. âGood,â Phil nodded in turn. There was a cry. âYouâre on âDaddy Dutyâ, â Dan winked at Phil. âThanks,â But Phil was secretly happy that he took charge.
Five years later:
Two men of nearly equal height were trying, desperately trying, to decorate a cake, while a little five year old girl with streaks of red and brown, curly, long hair, and one blue eye, and one brown eye, ran about their legs waving a wand, and wearing a sparkling jumper and equally sparkling tutu.
âGo find Thor!â Dan said, as he caught the back of the childâs jumper and her limbs flailed in the air the ribbon on the star shaped wand flitting here and there, as she giggled up at her Papa.
âOtay Mumma,â She gave him a somewhat slobbery kiss on the cheek.
âHi Daddy! She waved with a noodly hand in Philâs direction.
âMumma?â Dan asked.
âYes! Because you is Mumma, and he is Daddy,â She answered, and showed a gap-toothed smile.
âJust go get your dog, and go outside, so we can bring the cake out, you little nutter,â Dan said, and gently set the child down.
She giggled, and then hugged their legs.
âThor-Bor!â She yelled and a little beagle answered her call.
âThor-Bor!â She said, and picked the little dog up. She marched outside and joined the rest of her party.
âWhew!â Phil said as he put the last of his icing on the cake.
âAlmost. Done,â Danâs tongue peeked out and with a flourish the cake was finished.
âLetâs present the cake,â Dan said, and the two carried it out to the party table.
It was decorated quite nicely with balloons hanging on the end.
âCâmon Ona! Time to blow the candles out,â Dan said, as the little girl ran up to the table just in time.
She sat at the head of the table.
âMake a wish,â Phil encouraged. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, and grinned big.
âFwoosh!â she blew out the candles.
She looked around her, there was Dory, and Michael, and Louise, and CorneliaâŚ.Martyn, Susan, Adrian, Catherine, Nigel and everyone else sheâd ever met. She waved with her wand.
âI, Princess Fiona Banana Fanna NiNona, grant you all to be at my Birfday Party!â She said.
âThank you Princess,â was the greeting.
âHappy Birthday Fiona,â Dory said, and blew her baby sister a kiss. Fiona giggled and âcaught itâ.
Michael thrust a present at her.
âOh Tank you Mikey,â She said and eagerly tore into the package.
âOoooo A camera!â She said, and Dan took it from her.
âIâll teach you how to use it,â Dan whispered in her ear.
âWe both will,â Phil whispered in her other ear, making her giggle. The rest of the day went by very happily.
Fiona Blyss Lester-Howell was five, and had the rest of the world laid out before her. She was able to do anything and everything she set her mind to. She would do great things with her life. Much like Michael, and Dory. This tale is now able to end.
The End.
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Not Giving 100 Percent Can Actually Help You Get Fitter
It took years of having a torrid, on-again-off-again relationship with working out to finally discover a deep and abiding love for fitnessâand a six-pack. My secret? I gave myself a break and stopped asking myself to be so hardcore. Seriously, rarely do I give more than 70 percent of my max effort.
It's hard to believe that you don't have to torture yourself to be fit, especially when every ripped-AF person you meet at a coffee shop is raving about the CrossFit class that just made their eyes bleed (... awesome!). Besides, conventional bro wisdom and even scientific studies declare that the harder you work out, the better results you get. (Failure, bro!!! You gotta get to failure, BRO!!!) Yep, I swallowed that blue pill too.
It's just that hardcore workouts NEVER worked for me.
People thought I was fit because I had the highest PT score in my battalionâas a former medic, I could run 20 miles at the drop of a hat and knock out 130 push-ups in a minute. But despite being able to perform under pressure, I never felt fit.
That might've had something to do with the fact that I always had some sort of catastrophic injury that kept me from being consistent and gaining muscle. And truthfully, injury was okay with me because I hated working out. It was a high-stress, low-fun thing for me, and I'd take any excuse to avoid it.
So I settled for being "skinny fat" and semi-sedentary throughout my early- to mid-20s, only reverting to binges of hardcore exercise when I got fed up with the way my body looked and felt, and always burning out or getting injured. I was basically a bulimic exerciser.
That you could enjoy your workouts and essentially be a balanced human being hadn't occurred to me yet (failure, bro, failure!!!). But shortly after I turned 28, I came across one of those YouTube videos that just happens to resonate with you in a satori-like moment from God (is there an algorithm for that?). And it had me drinking a new flavor of Kool-Aid within 24 hours.
EDITOR'S PICK
Firas Zahabi, head coach at Tristar Gym, was featured on the Joe Rogan Show, where he talked about reducing exercise intensity for more consistency, better form, and more gains. That's where I learned about the 70 percent principle: Only on rare occasions, Zahabi says, should you extend yourself past 70 percent of your perceived maximum effort. Basically that means fewer hardcore workouts and more "softcore" workouts.
Certified personal trainer Shawn Mynar agrees, saying that workouts for overall fitness should primarily be full body and low intensity, with your exertion level somewhere between 60-70 percent of your perceived max.
The idea is never to be fatigued so that you can do high-quality reps all throughout the dayâwe're talking anywhere from five to seven 3-5 minute mini-workoutsâthat way, you can continue working out the next day (when hardcore lifters can barely get off the pot). It was good enough for elite marathoners and weightlifters, so I gave it a shot.
I was hooked after the first day.
The first thing I noticed was that I actually enjoyed the workouts. Instead of going cross-eyed and crying in a corner (OK... maybe it was never that bad), my "softcore" mini-workouts were no longer than a coffee breakâand just as energizing.
I did my first 5 sets of 10 push-ups at 9 a.m. and was ready for the second round by 10, then repeated the cycle every hour or two until sunsetâeither hitting the floor right next to my writing desk or sauntering to a park five minutes from my house.
The best part was that instead of looking to the clock and thinking, Ugh⌠I've gotta go work out, I actually couldn't wait to break away from work to use my body and feel like a human being again. It was totally stress-free and fun, which is the exact opposite of what working out had always been for me.
And yeah, I work from homeâso you might be thinking, um, this sounds super inaccessible, but I know a guy who used a conference room in his office for the same type of training. Where there's a will (and a decently flexible work environment), there's a way.
I ended up finishing the day with about 300 push-ups total, which was more than I would normally do in my hardcore days, and I felt awesomeâno strains, no DOMS, no crying in dark corners. I did pull-ups the next day (each round was 3 sets of 7), and the same thing happenedâI just wanted to go back to my bar and do more and more, because now that I wasn't killing myself, I could actually enjoy the movement and feel energized.
I worked in days of burpees, just five at a time, short sprints of 40 yards, squats, planks, weight trainingârarely going over 70 percent max. And it was the same story for each: I fell more in love with fitness after each set. No injuries, no burnout. Just more energy and results.
Friends and family were commenting on my changing physique within the first month.
My (admittedly kinda weird) family members started talking about my "nice tummy." By month two, I had a defined six-pack for the first time in my life, and my notoriously hollow upper chest was finally starting to fill out. The fact that I was still working out by the third month was a testament to how well the 70 percent rule had worked for me because I'd never stuck with anything for that long.
This isn't to say there isn't a type of person that can get energized by crazy-intense workouts. It's just that I was never that person, try as I did. The best part of it all? After years of dreading exercise, working out this way finally sparked my love for fitness. And that's something everyone can use.
Dan Dowling is a writer and coach in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Got some fitness or career goals you're putting off? Swing by his blog, Millennial Success.
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AK Monthly Recap: May 2017
This month I returned to my roots â I took a nice juicy solo trip to some countries I hadnât visited before. Man, that always feels great. I took long walks. I photographed everything in sight. I drank lots of coffees in lots of cool cafes. Absolute bliss.
Since settling down in New York last year, Iâve been surprised at how much Iâve struggled with my identity. When you earn your salary based on your personality and then you make a major shift in lifestyle, on top of going from a moderate cost of living to a high cost of living, it can be quite disorienting. But after a year and a few months, Iâm finding myself more relaxed.
Now, I think Iâm getting pretty close to where I want to be â one week away per month, or two weeks away every two months, plus an occasional weekend trip thrown in. And the rest of the time I get to hang out in fabulous New York City. That feels right to me now.
Destinations Visited
New York, NY
Bucharest, Romania
Chisinau, Moldova
Odessa, Kiev, Chernobyl, and Pripyat, Ukraine
Favorite Destination
Odessa. Far and away. Iâve been dreaming of visiting Odessa for so long, and it didnât disappoint me in the slightest.
Highlights
Bucharest was a lot of fun. I visited for the #ExperienceBucharest campaign, designed by volunteer tourism professionals to promote Bucharest to an international audience. Everyone was so passionate about sharing their hometown with us!
And I discovered a fabulous city. It felt a lot like Berlin in that the strangest little cafes and restaurants were hiding behind innocuous looking doors, but it also had a grandeur reminiscent of Paris. I loved getting to know the people of Bucharest, from formerly homeless tour guides to artists and entrepreneurs to the expats who had made Bucharest their home. Itâs a special city. And while many Romania tourists skip Bucharest, you really shouldnât.
At the conference portion of the event, I spoke on a panel about visual storytelling and didnât mince words: âI am so sick of travel bloggers posting a million acro-yoga photos.â (Seriously, bloggersâŚno offense to my friends who are really into acro, but I hate looking at tons of photos of you balanced on the hairy legs of some random dude in short-shorts. Plus, doesnât taking tons of photos of yourself doing yoga kind of defeat the mental benefits of doing yoga in the first place?)
Ukraine was awesome. Man, did I love that country! I had plans to visit Odessa, Kiev, and Chernobyl, and I partnered last-minute with JayWay Travel, a boutique Central and Eastern European travel company, for a custom itinerary they built for me with hotels, transfers, and tours throughout the country.
There is so much beauty and pride in Ukraine â a sharp contrast from Moldova. And it is by far the cheapest European country Iâve visited. Much cheaper than Albania and Macedonia! Think 95-cent lattes in fancy cafes and two-course meals with both wine and water for $8.
Odessa was my favorite spot, with its elegant streets and pastel colors, but I also really liked Kiev (especially the parts without Soviet architecture).
Chernobyl was unforgettable. Itâs so hard to find the words to describe visiting the location of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster of 1986. (Yes, itâs safe to visit today. Itâs the equivalent of staying in Kiev plus eating two and a half bananas. Thereâs radiation in everything.) Itâs a site of great tragedy, but itâs also moving to see a town left frozen in time, as well as the effect of nature reclaiming a whole settlement.
Learning Cyrillic. I did learn a bit when I traveled to Macedonia and Bulgaria back in 2013, but I had forgotten most of it. This time in Ukraine, I jumped in and worked hard â and it paid off. Thereâs nothing more rewarding than sounding out a word and recognizing it. Once, I yelled out, âOh! Sushi Bar!â
Some strange and lovely New York adventures. Like finally making it to Punderdrome, a monthly pun competition in Brooklyn. About a dozen people, some of them professional comedians, get up on stage and out-pun each other until thereâs only one winner remaining. I loved it!
And, um, I ventured to HUMP!, Dan Savageâs independent sex-positive pornographic short film festival. If you ever feel like youâve seen everythingâŚthat festival will assure you that nope, you havenât.
I also made an appearance at Smorgasburg, a weekend food festival in Brooklyn, for the first time in forever. If you visit New York on a weekend, you should try to attend â they have tons of delicious and unique food offerings. Itâs not a cheap outing, but itâs lots of fun!
Making lots of new friends â and connecting with two people in particular. I usually keep to myself when traveling solo, so thatâs a bit of a novelty for me. And on this trip I met two different people â one in Bucharest, one in Kiev â with whom I connected in a deep, unfiltered way. The kind of connection you can only have with a stranger. Itâs crazy to feel like someone can hold your soul in their hand for a few minutes.
Challenges
Moldova was a bit of a bust. After a few hours of walking around Chisinau, I felt like I had made a huge mistake choosing to spend three nights there. Over time, I found a few cool businesses and developed a bit of affection for the city, but I feel no need to return to Moldova and wouldnât recommend Chisinau to the vast majority of travelers.
I wanted to see more of Moldova â Cricova Winery and Orhei Vechei â but Cricova wasnât doing wine tastings (and whatâs the point of visiting a winery without tastings? The visit is the boring part!) and the minibuses ran on a schedule that would have left me in the middle of nowhere for hours. I would have hired a driver, but I couldnât find a professional and as a solo woman, I would only hire a professional, not some random dude wanting to make a few bucks.
By that time, I was just exhausted and didnât even feel like venturing to Transnistria.
Illness in Bucharest. Conferences are a hotbed of germs to begin with, particularly when you combine it with party nights and lack of sleep. I usually get sick a few days after a conference, but this time it hit me earlier. Probably because everyone was sick. When itâs that bad, you know itâs a matter of time before you get sick, too.
Yet another far-longer-than-necessary journey home. It wasnât quite as bad as my 48-hour Broome-Perth-overnight-Singapore-London-long layover-Boston journey last fall (which I am NEVER REPEATING), but my Kiev-Bucharest-overnight-Amsterdam-New York journey was 24 hours long. It pained me when I realized that I could have flown nonstop from Kiev to New York in just 10 hours, but alas, circumstances brought me elsewhere.
The older I get, the less I can tolerate those long journeys. I need to keep that in mind.
The Raindrop Cake is a lie! New Yorkâs Raindrop Cake, a clear gelatinous half-sphere became an Instagram star a few months ago, and when I saw it at Smorgasburg, I wanted to give it a try. Well, it wasnât anything great. It didnât look THAT good, and it tasted like plain sugar-flavored gelatin.
Honestly, this was the most âthe emperor has no clothesâ trend Iâve found since moving to New York. And the fact that it cost $8 added insult to injury. Skip this one and walk to Ample Hills for ice cream instead.
And I dealt with a stye. I donât get styes very often, but if youâve had one, you know how unpleasant they are. They hurt, your face looks like youâre having a stroke, and you may need to throw your eye makeup away. A few days of tea bag compresses and baby shampoo washings got rid of it. Though several people told me that the best cure for a stye is URINE!
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The Art of the Chilled Out Trip to Paris â Paris is so much better without a solid itinerary.
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Want likes? Post the Eiffel Tower. Pretty simple. I actually posted this photo to celebrate the election of Emmanuel Macron in France.
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Fitness Update
Iâm officially in the worst fitness rut Iâve been in since the beginning of the year. Iâve just gotten lazy and I need to pick things up again.
I was so determined to work out throughout my Eastern Europe trip, but it didnât happen. As a result, when I had my first zumba/training combo day after my trip, I was PAINFULLY sore for the next three days.
The good news? My trainer asked if I could keep my weight steady while away, and I actually kept it exactly the same, despite consuming tons of dumplings and wine. Thatâs something.
This month I also took the âDance!â class at Equinox. The description said it could be from any genre of dance and I hoped it would be hip-hopâŚno. It was jazz. A jazz routine. I felt like I was back in high school drama class. Yeah, that one I wonât be repeating. I didnât even break a sweat!
Iâll get back in there. I need to.
Iâm also thinking about expanding to a global Equinox membership. It doesnât make the most sense, since I live in Harlem and all the gyms are south of me, but it might be worth it to take classes with my favorite instructors on a more regular basisâŚ
What I Read This Month
Iâm up to 28 books read so far this year â Iâm now officially more than halfway through the 52-book 2017 PopSugar Book Challenge! I had actually hoped to have read six to eight books this month rather than just five, but Iâm working on a few others and will get there.
Also, I keep meaning to read literature from the country Iâm visiting, but of course I spent two weeks in Eastern Europe and only read books set in Oklahoma, Florida, and Kansas. Go figure.
Losing My Virginity: How I Survived, Had Fun, and Made a Fortune Doing Business My Way by Richard Branson (updated 2011 edition) â I knew âa book thatâs mentioned in another bookâ would be a challenging category â somehow, I could only think of the books that were mentioned throughout the Baby-Sitters Club series (Little Women and Baby Island?). But when I read You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero earlier this year, she had a list of recommended books and said that while you should always read books by people you admire, Richard Bransonâs memoir was her absolute favorite. I was sold!
And what a thrilling ride this book was! Itâs an in-depth account of Bransonâs wild journey as an entrepreneur, as well as his adventures through love, life, and record-breaking. And I found it fascinating to see how he sees the world and makes decisions. He is just so optimistic and willing to jump into anything that seems fun, without even putting that much thought into it. I was also surprised to hear that Virgin had very little cash on hand until the mid-1990s, when they won a huge settlement from British Airways. (Consequently, I never want to fly BA again. They spied on Richard Branson and his family!!)
The best memoirs are ones that either show a major transformation or bare the soul of the writer. This book falls more into the latter category, and itâs absolutely worth it. Category: a book thatâs mentioned in another book.
Nyssa Glass and the House of Mirrors by H.L. Burke (2016) â You know, Iâve made an effort to read a good book in every category, even the ones that arenât really my thing, but when it came time to read a steampunk novel, I just wanted to get through one quickly. So I found the Nyssa Glass series: a set of mysteries about a teenage girl who solves mysteries in Victorian times while aided by cutting-edge steam technology. Steampunk has always made me roll my eyes a bit, but Iâm sure it can be done well in the hands of a skilled author.
And this book? Just a quickie Young Adult book that wasnât that compelling. I think younger readers might get more out of it. Category: a steampunk novel.
Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI by David Grann (2017) â I chose this book from Book of the Month because itâs one of the hottest nonfiction releases of the year and it tells a fascinating story forgotten by history. In the 1920s, the Osage Indians of Oklahoma were the richest people per capita in the world because there was oil on their land and the rights couldnât be sold, only inherited through family. Then dozens of Osage began dying unexpectedly â some from illness, some from gunshots. Eventually the newly formed FBI discovered a mass conspiracy to murder as many Osage as possible.
In addition to learning about this heartbreaking and forgotten chapter of history, I found it fascinating to see how Native Americans were treated by white people and how it differed from other races. It was common for Native Americans and white people to marry, and rather than being segregated, the attitude was more, âThey need to assimilate and start doing things our way.â Like other forms of racism, it never ended â it just changed form. Also, I was very interested in the FBI parts and think I might want to read a biography of J. Edgar Hoover next. Category: a book recommended by a librarian. (PS â Library Reads is a great resource to find books recommended by librarians.)
Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston (1937) â I had been meaning to read this book forever, along with more Harlem Renaissance authors, and when I saw it in a used bookstore near my gym, I snapped it up. In this novel, taking place in Florida not too long after Emancipation, a teenage girl named Janie yearns to fall in love â but she feels nothing for her first husband and runs off with a second, controlling husband. Then finally, as a 40-year-old widow, she meets a handsome 25-year-old and falls in love for the first time.
I love a good romance, and this delivered. But more than that, this book was about Florida, its stickiness and humidity, and its fledgling all-black communities created in the years post-slavery. And the only thing I love more than a good romance is a good ending â not necessarily a happy or sad ending, but an ending youâll never forget. This falls into that category. Category: a book you got at a used bookstore.
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote (1965) â This was my book clubâs pick for the month, and I was glad to read a book that Iâve always heard about. Truman Capote invented the nonfiction novel! Itâs because of him that one of my favorite books, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, exists today! At the time of publication, it was unheard of for a nonfiction book to be written in the literary style of fiction.
In 1959, four members of a family were murdered on their farm in Kansas. There were no clues and no motive â but eventually an unlikely source led to the case cracking open. Capote tells the story of the murder from the points of view of the victims, the perpetrators, and the local community.
The writing is captivating but something felt wrong to me â it felt so voyeuristic. These people died, and there was no reason for their deaths. (Itâs the same reason why I donât listen to murder podcasts, despite their popularity â it feels cruel to me to geek out over the deaths of people.) But I appreciated it as a piece of literature. I also enjoyed that my hometown of Reading, Massachusetts, made a most unexpected appearance near the end of the book. Category: a book with an eccentric character.
What I Watched This Month
Master of None, Season Two. This show means so much to me and Iâm glad itâs finally back after a year and a half. Not only is it the show I relate to the most, it somehow hits me straight in the feels and brings me nearly to tears, even when itâs not that sad. HOW DOES IT DO THAT? Do they have a blueprint of my brain?!
And then it was like Season Two was even more precisely tailored to me:
âThey had a performance by my favorite singer, John Legend.
âThey cast my favorite celebrity crush, Bobby Cannavale (yeah, I say itâs The Rock, but itâs really Bobby Cannavale) playing an Anthony Bourdain-like role and itâs the hottest heâs ever looked onscreen.
âThey filmed in two of my favorite small towns in Italy:Â Modena in Emilia-Romagna and Pienza in Tuscany.
âThey had a discussion about the Italian word allora that was pretty much lifted from my time living in Italy â I had no idea what it meant, but somehow I always knew when to say it!
âThere was an homage to my favorite American quirk: giant pharmacies. Which is one thing I talk about all the time â I always LOVE returning to giant American pharmacies when I come home from my travels! They have everything you could possibly need!
At any rate, it was such a lovely season and I highly recommend you watch. Itâs tough, though â Netflix hit us hard this month with new seasons of House of Cards, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Bloodline simultaneouslyâŚ
Image: Jon Roberts
Coming Up in June 2017
After having a big trip in May, Iâm taking it easier in June with only two short trips scheduled. First, Iâm heading home to Massachusetts for my dadâs (milestone!) birthday at the beginning of the month.
And later in the month, Iâm visiting Asheville, North Carolina, for the first time ever! Iâve wanted to visit this mountainside city for so long, but I was hesitant to visit North Carolina while HB2 (a.k.a. the bathroom law) was in place. The law has since been repealed by the new Democratic governor, so I feel comfortable going now. (Many LGBT advocates think that the repeal doesnât go far enough. I agree with them. But I also know that political progress is most effective when itâs incremental and the repeal is a necessary step in gaining full equality for LGBT citizens in North Carolina.)
North Carolina is actually a new state for me â my final state to visit on the East Coast! And Iâve been working with Asheville to create a responsible and ethical itinerary thatâs heavy on outdoorsy pursuits and features small local businesses. Iâm really excited about it.
Any suggestions for Asheville? Let me know!
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Rewind: Uncommon Sense: Buck Brannaman on Horses, Movies and Life
Even though horse trainer Dan M. âBuckâ Brannaman is as skilled with his tongue as he is in the saddle, Cindy Meehlâs new documentary on him Buck implies there is still more under his cowboy hat than he initially lets on.
Brannaman is a master of natural horsemanship, where a rider trains a horse, not by breaking it, but by looking at the relationship the way the animal sees it. To a casual observer, itâs almost as if Brannaman can telepathically communicate and command the horse. Nicholas Evans consulted with Brannaman while he was writing The Horse Whisperer, and director-actor Robert Redford relied on the horsemanâs skills when he made the film adaptation of the book. Â
From listening to him talk about the discipline he practices, however, it quickly becomes obvious that his equestrian magic comes more from pragmatism than potions. The techniques he and his predecessors Ray Hunt and Tom Dorrance use are based in simple logic: If you can think like the horse, itâs a lot easier to interact with it.
This technique also requires compassion on the part of the rider and earning the horseâs trust. As Buck demonstrates, Brannamanâs gift for empathy in some ways belies his difficult upbringing. As a youngster, he and his brother were rodeo stars, but their father used savage beatings as part of the boys training. Eventually, the lads had to be moved to a loving foster home, and as the film documents, both grew up to be stable adults with solid families of their own.
From listening to Brannaman on a phone call from Oklahoma City, itâs quickly obvious that as good as the film is, Buck only captures a portion of the manâs life and philosophy. While he speaks quietly, heâs certainly got a lot to say about how horses can be the mirror images of the people they encounter.
Youâve not a stranger to documentaries. Youâve made a series of training videos, so what was it like to make a film with somebody else in charge?
Well, really it was easy for me because I had told Cindy from the beginning that if she was going to do this, she needed to understand that I wasnât going to change anything about my days, that my loyalty had to go with people that go to my clinics.
So in that, she had to be pretty clever in how she filmed it because I said, âIâm not going to position a certain way. Iâm not going to be standing somewhere you want me to stand and do anything. Iâm going to go about my day, and youâre going to have to anticipate when something kind of neat is going to happen with the horse. Youâre going to have to plan ahead and be there.â
With horses, when something kind of neat does happen, it doesnât happen again. That momentâs gone, and if you missed it, and you werenât there, itâs gone forever. So it was quite a challenge for her, but the longer she went, the better she got at. When pretty soon, once in a while, Iâd look over at her because I knew something kind of neat just happened with the horse or with somebody else. Iâd look over at her, and sheâd be kind of âthumbs upâ and sheâd be saying, âI got it.â
That reminds me of working with children because my nephews were little, my brother would try to videotape the moment, and the kids would immediately clam up. Is it the same way with horses?
The horse is indifferent to that thing other than if youâre around horses that havenât been handled a bunch, once a fellow with a camera walks into an arena, it looks pretty odd to a horse. You have to figure if a horse survives by being really attentive and keen on those things and noticing things that might turn into a threat.
Theyâre used to seeing a human in one form, and then they see a human with this thing on top of his shoulder, every once in a while, a horse will give it a long look.
When Nicholas Evans, the author of The Horse Whisperer, or others describe you, they almost make you sound like a Zen master, but hearing your own voice describing your training techniques, it seems like a lot of what youâve done is more based on practicality or noticing something thatâs obvious.
It really is. A lot of people used the term âcommon sense approach.â And that doesnât sound too bad to me. But itâs interesting that they call it common sense, and that would infer that it happens all the time.
I donât know what it is, but itâs logical. It is a sensible approach to working with horses, and obviously itâs about practice. Itâs about how much time you spend at it and how much devotion you have for it.
With the techniques that you and fellow natural horsemanship trainers Ray Hunt and Tom Dorrance have developed, donât they demand more of a person in the relationship with the horse?
They do, and really, thatâs in the essence of this. You realize if youâve been at this awhile the changes you have to make within yourself to get to the point to where you are appealing to horses, to where youâre not threatening to them and they accept you, and where they even prefer to be around you. There are a lot of changes you have to make within yourself to get to that point. And thatâs what people are looking for when they go to my clinics. And it was interesting to me how our goal from the very beginning from this documentary was that it would have an appeal and that it would touch the hearts of people that are from town, that donât have horses or have no background in livestock that they would still get the point to what this is all about.
And that was the challenge, and Cindy did a great job. Itâs been really well-received in urban areas.
Youâre talking to someone who writes computer instructions for a living. When I heard you describe equestrian terms to newcomers, I said, âThis guyâs going to put me out of a job.â You did such a fine job explaining these concepts for people who are new to animals.
It is true. There are so many parallels in relationships that people did get the point in this. Some would think, âI could have a different point of view about my kids.â Maybe someone else would think it would apply to their wife or their husband or their aunt or their dad or their mom. Itâs interesting how thereâs a message for everybody if itâs important to you.
Not everybody is searching to improve on themselves, but itâs surprising to me how many people are, actually.
One particularly haunting bit from the film is the old footage of a horse being broken.
Yeah.
And me being a lily-livered city person, it kind of shocked me. It struck me that wouldnât the techniques that you, Tom Dorrance or Ray Hunt used result in better longevity for a horse?
Oh, absolutely. You know there was a time, it sounds funny, but years ago when Tom Dorrance was just getting on to these things that he taught all of us, that there were people who thought that he literally hypnotized horses, that he was practicing some sort of witchcraft. It was that out there to people.
And isnât it crazy that all he was advocating was just finding a way to work with a horse as if you got to make up the rules to help him understand? That in a nutshell was really what motivated him. And it was sort of the foundation for his lifeâs study: find a way to get the horse to cooperate with you and work with you and not be troubled.
And yet he was so remarkable with what he could accomplish because instead of kind of forcing his will on the horse and trying to make it happen, heâd fix it up so that his idea would become the horseâs. Things do look easy then, but that isnât any different with people. If youâre wanting someone to do a certain thing, and you can shape it up to where itâs them thinking it was your ideaâthat they think theyâve come up with this stroke of geniusâand youâve shaped it up that way, they all you have to do is tell them, âYouâve really got it going on. I wish I had thought of that.â
And yet, itâs the direction you wanted him to go to begin with while everybody wins.
In the film, itâs impressive how open you are about the difficulties you and your brother had as children. Was it tough in both your book The Faraway Horses and in this documentary to talk about this stuff?
You know, I think it was harder in the book because in that I was not a trained author by any stretch, so I had to rewrite the book quite a few times before I was satisfied with it. It seemed like every time Iâd go over it, through all these years of working with horses, Iâve learned how to live in the moment. As I would be rewriting my book, that would sort of require me to immerse myself in the past again and tell the story and put myself there. Iâd get done with the rewrite, and for two or three days, Iâd be kind of melancholy, just kind of bummed out, you know.
And then Iâd shake it off and get on with my life. So, every time the publisher would say, âWe need to know you,â Iâd think, âOh, no.â So I was pretty relieved when it was all done.
But Iâve found that over the years in these clinics that people will come the first day of the clinic, and theyâre intimidated because they know who I am, and Iâve been around a long time. And they think because you have something of a reputation, that youâre not approachable, that youâre something other than what you are.
Iâve found that being able to share with people my vulnerabilities and my imperfect life and my personal experiences seemed to lead them to feel that I obviously trusted them to share something very intimate about myself. And that really opens people up to where theyâre open to me.
Well then the teacher-student relationship is off and running, so I can get something done. In small doses over the years, Iâve done quite a bit of stuff like that with folks, so it wasnât so unnatural for me to do it once we started doing this documentary.
Buck is coming out at an intriguing time because bullying and its consequences are coming back into the headlines again even though the phenomenon never really went away.
Right. Believe me, I got bullied when I was a kid. I donât often tell people this butâyouâd probably find it hard to believe because I talk for a livingâI stuttered so horribly when I was a little fellow in school. So it was especially surreal when I saw that movie with my family the other day, The Kingâs Speech. Hey, man, I feel you brother.
It was a hard thing for me to work through. I know now looking back, you could probably attribute most of it to the stressful environment I was living in that caused me to stutter. Every night, I would say words over and over again, thousands of times. Iâd usually take two words a night. And Iâd fall asleep with those two words until I could say them. It seemed once I had done that, then I kind of owned those two words. I could say them and then nothing else. Over a period of a few hundred nights, my vocabulary started to grow in terms of words that I could get out without stammering and stuttering.
But it was tough. I got made fun of, and it wasnât cool.
Wow! But with stammering, thereâs no relationship with intelligence because Thomas Jefferson, for example, stammered.
Well, itâs interesting youâd say that because back in the day, when they first decided that I couldnât speak, they would put me in, for the lack of a better term, like a special ed class. And then their entire therapy would be that theyâd just plop me down to the table, and weâd all have to read out of a book aloud.
Well, crap. I already knew I couldnât speak. And then reading to everybody made it worse. And then being in front of other kids reading and stuttering made it worse yet. And then the teacher would just look at me and shake her head. Here I was a third or fourth grader, and even then I was thinking, this is stupid. This isnât working. I was a bright kid. I got good grades.
And the some of the other kids, weâd been put together, and letâs just say they werenât so bright. So then it really was demeaning to me because I thought, you know what? Theyâre not helping me at all. Thatâs when I just starting practicing on my own.
I actually thought the scenes in Buck where the violent horse was brought in were really helpful. As a viewer and as a film critic, it seems as if so much of what you is easy. It helped to see two things: 1. Owning an animal is a huge responsibility. 2. What you do takes serious discipline, so not just anybody can pull it off.
Iâm pleased to hear you say that, and Iâll tell you why. Itâs because in this: I had hoped by this piece being in there on this horseâgranted, that situation with that horse is sort of an anomaly. Thatâs one in 50,000 horses. That started out with brain damage. So he was already going to be mentally handicapped, no matter what happened.
And then if you were going to write a book on all the wrong things you could do to ruin a horse, well, that had already pretty much been done. It was a perfect storm for making the horse the way he was. But Iâd hoped that through this everybody, be they horse people or people from the city, would get the message and the point that with this, whether youâre going to have horses or dogs or children, comes great responsibility, and not just to give them food and shelter. But to teach them right from wrong and to guide them and to show them the right thing from the very beginning, so that youâre sending them on the course to success through their whole life.
Thank goodness, people have gotten the big picture to this. And interestingly enough, another fellow who was interviewing me the other day, made a fairly astute point. He said, âYou know what I thought?â
He said, âHaving seen your foster mom on there, I was looking at that horse thinking, that could have just as easily been you, Buck.â And I thought, âYouâre right on, bud.â
Speaking about your foster mom, the film shows that movie stars can come in all shapes and sizes. Sheâs such a charmer. Iâm so glad they put her in.
She's the best. Still, as many times as I've seen it, I can't watch a screening without crying. I just can't. She's such a great person.
It's really professional when you go into a question and answer session after a screening where you've been bawling (laughs).
But I think it takes a real man to admit vulnerabilities.
I think so.
How long did it take you to get Robert Redford to where he could imitate some of the things that you do?
Of course, when you're shooting a film like that, you look at how short all the scenes are by the time it gets cut up into a feature film, you don't have to have long bursts of brilliance. You know what I mean (laughs)?
I doubled for him on some of the harder stuff, and they could shoot it in a way that looked like Redford. But Bob Redford is a real athlete. He's done some really athletic things in his life, so he's a handy guy. And his personality is such that he could really kind of connect with me when I'd be explaining something to him.
There are some actors who may be good in certain character roles. There are some actors who have way too much ego or are too macho and way too full of themselves to adapt to something different. It fit Redford to a "T" because he's not one of those guys. He's not what most folks would expect even though he's so famous, and he's like the big king in that business. But he's a good guy, and he's the kind of guy you'd enjoy spending time with him regardless of if he was famous.
I write computer documentation for a living. One of my biggest challenges is keeping my patience with people because there are still folks out there who aren't comfortable with computers. Is it tough for you when you're dealing with newcomers? I noticed that you try to be good humored around these people.
It is very much the same, you know. You can't approach them the same way because you've said the same thing 100,000 times. You can't approach them like it's their fault. They're there, and they've stepped up and admitted that they need to know more. They've shown the courage to even get out there in front of everybody with their horse. So you have to respect that. Nobody's trying to look inept. They'd all like to look as good as they could.
You always have to remind yourself of that. You have to be open enough with the ones who are trying to get some education. The ones you should be frustrated with, with anyone, would be the ones that are still at home.
Did you once play polo with Prince Charles?
Yeah. Not a serious polo game. When he used to come to West Palm Beach to play, I got to know him a little bit, as much as you're going to get to know a prince. You know how that goes.
You could have been an accounting student. Is that correct?
Yeah, it's funny I went to school for a while. I got good grades. I was a 4.0 student, and my counselor, the advice he gave me was that the best thing I could do when I left his office was dump my books in the garbage and don't look back. He said, "You're at the top of the business school. I find it really weird telling you that, but I know about you. Some folks have told me that we may be the very thing that's holding you back right now." He said, "You've already had all the serious accounting classes already, so you've got that background. You need to move on. You're not going to be an accountant."
So I did. I walked out of his office and dumped my books in the garbage. So in my last quarter, I got all Fs.
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